Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3”!

Ready for the end of a trilogy? Yeah, I don’t want this to end either, but… Synopsis!

In Marvel Studios’ “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” our beloved band of misfits are settling into life on Knowhere. But it isn’t long before their lives are upended by the echoes of Rocket’s turbulent past. Peter Quill, still reeling from the loss of Gamora, must rally his team around him on a dangerous mission to save Rocket’s life—a mission that, if not completed successfully, could quite possibly lead to the end of the Guardians as we know them.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Elsewhere Review: Lindt Lindor Dark Chocolate Truffles

Originally published at Green Man Review!

Dark chocolate is awesome. We all know this. It’s decadent. It’s bittersweet. It’s good for your heart. It may even prevent some forms of cancer! But when chocolate touts itself as dark but isn’t? It’s not just a sad trombone for me. It’s a sad trombone I want to smash onto someone’s head. What can I say? I Hulk out when I’m lied to. It’s a thing. So these truffles and I probably shouldn’t attend any concerts together. All I’m saying.

It was tough to figure out the exact cocoa percentage in these truffles; Lindt/Lindor has 60% and 70% Extra Dark Chocolate truffles, which typically are the vast majority of info that will pop up. Even Lindt won’t say.   But, finally, Carmelina spilled the tea. So, in pure terms, it’s dark chocolate In Name Only. True dark chocolate has percentages between 50-90%, so these truffles could be considered milk chocolate with aspirations. And that definitely comes through in the appearance, and mouthfeel, of these candies. 

The truffle filling is the exact same color as the shell, so it’s tough to figure out what starts when, unless you pop the pack into the fridge to let the shell harden up. And even then, the high level of cocoa butter keeps things soft and smooth, rather than that satisfying snap true dark chocolate has. Biting into one of these truffles has your teeth sinking into the chocolate as a knife would through butter; an easy slide that lets you know this is gonna be a smooth experience, but isn’t the satisfying bite I was hoping for.

Milk chocolate lovers will absolutely adore the way the butters and milk solids in this chocolate melt in their mouths. Me? I thought it was a lovely change of pace from my dark chocolate intrigues, but as a gal who has to watch her saturated fat intake? I’d much rather spend my limited SatFat calories on something good and good for me, rather than something that’ll “do for now”. Yep, it’s like that y’all. 

These truffles are lovely with a cup of coffee or tea, or whatever warm beverage you have on offer. Otherwise? They’re too rich for cooler temps, leaving a cocoa-buttery fat skim on your tongue (that that warm bevvie will melt right off.) As with any other fatty/rich food? Champagne or other sparkling wine can also pair nicely. Maybe even a lovely aged brandy; whisky might overpower things, and balance in your snacking experience is key.

So, my dark chocolate loving compatriots? If you’re craving some darkness in your life, I’d choose Lindt’s 60 or 70 percent truffles rather than these. While they’re smooth and rich, and melt delightfully on the tongue? They’re just not the same as the real thing. 

P.S.: The batch I received through Amazon had a bit of “fat bloom” on them. Nothing to worry about, they’re still A-OK in terms of being safe to consume. But in case anyone else was wondering what’s up with a strange gritty or oily white coating on their chocolate? It’s bloom. And as I’ve never has this happen with Lindt chocolates before, I’m betting the strange “summer before spring” weather fluctuations we had earlier this month was the cause of it. Can’t be fun for chocolates to sit in a delivery truck when weather ebbs and flows…

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Nutshell Review – “Evil Dead Rise”

DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN!” (Yep this movie goes there.)

It’s a bit paint by numbers, and folks we all know are fodder get little more than a name, but?

1) It’s still an Evil Dead film, so we get all the fun highpoints.
2) The cat lives. Do NOT @ me, I will deadite on this hill.

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“Chevalier” illuminates a forgotten virtuoso

“The world needs change. Do you not agree?”

Story: Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, wasn’t always a big deal. He was a boy taken away from his enslaved mother, bringing him from his home in the Carribean to Paris, France. But the soon-to-be Chevalier became a well-known violinist, composer, and all-around gentleman. But the color of his skin presented challenges even the fine maestro could not overcome. What to do? Vive la révolution!

Genre I’d put it in: Wonderfully layered biopics
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the life of Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges.

Gotta say: What’s a Chevalier? I’ve got you, sweetie. It’s an honorary knighthood in France. Knighthood equals Code of Chivalry…Chevalier…you get it. You brilliant thing you. Anyway, this movie focuses on Joseph Bologne, who was given the title in 1761. An admirable fencer, violinist, and composer, who nonetheless is barely known in modern day. Hopefully, Chevalier will change that. Let’s hope this film blows up Bologne the way Amadeus did Mozart. As it stands, this movie is good enough to do just that.

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“Air” – nothing but net

“We’re on offensive. All the time.”

Story: It’s 1984, and marketing guru Sonny Vaccaro is trying to figure out the best way to keep the Nike Basketball Division afloat. Because they’re so far behind Converse and Adidas in terms of pro sportswear, they’re well nigh invisible. So why not aim high, and go for the top rookie, Michael Jordan? Nike doesn’t have much to give, but then Sonny has an idea…

Genre I’d put it in: Gold Medal Sports Docudramas
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the true story of how Nike signed then-rookie Michael Jordan, and cemented their brand as basketball must-haves, moving them out of their “just joggers” rep.

Gotta say: I don’t know sportsball. My idea of great sneakers is anything on clearance at DSW. (And my aeons old Converse low-tops. But that’s another convo for another day.) So what brought me to this screening? The idea of seeing Damon and Affleck onscreen together. Though they like to play off each other, it’s a treat to see them share screen time. Plus, the additional enticement of Viola Davis, Jason Bateman, Chris Tucker, and Chris Messina did not hurt. I grabbed my pen and hit the multiplex. And I had a great time.

What director Affleck does here is cast many well-known comedic performers in this sportsball movie, allowing them to put their copious skills to work. And these fellas know how to bring the big emotions, while giving just enough cheeky back-and-forth to the proceedings, so it feels like actual human beings in a high pressure situation, rather than talented folks spouting dialogue. The screenplay by Alex Convery – originally on 2021’s Black List of most-liked screenplays yet to be produced – balances raw determination, snarky office banter, and love of the game, creating a film that will please anyone who’s down for a solid story well told. If you’re hip with the cool basketball and sneaker kids? Well, you probably already have your tickets. Smart move.

The art direction, costuming, and even hair & makeup, are on freakin’ point in Air. They nail the early 80s aesthetic, which was a strange stew of laid-back 70s hangers-on, and neon 80s glory that was only starting to make its presence known. But I’ve really gotta shout-out how Air uses the look of their characters to let the audience know who they are. (Affleck’s wig is truly a masterpiece y’all.) Something that really jumped out at me was Viola Davis’ Deloris Jordan; she carries herself like the head of the family she is. She dresses for every occasion. But her manicure is slightly outgrown, to show that however amazing Michael is, and no matter how impressive Deloris is, the Jordans are still a regular family, untouched by the greatness that was to come. It’s subtle, but I loved that touch. I also love that “grape” colored Porche Affleck’s Phil Knight drives. But the closest I’ll get to that is a manicure with a color dupe. Ah well.

The story plays out with lots of suspense and “what if” moments, even though we all know what ultimately happened. That’s due to focusing closely on the individuals striving to make the deal with Michael Jordan actually happen, even though it seemed like an impossibility. Damon’s Vaccaro, Bateman’s Rob Strasser, Tucker’s Howard White, and wonderful character actor Matthew Maher as Nike engineer/designer Peter Moore, work together to keep the emotions high, which kept my heart in my throat. Special shout-out to Chris Messina’s David Falk, a sports agent who lets everyone know in no uncertain terms exactly where he stands. The back-and-forth between Messina and Damon is deliciously adversarial, and I loved every second of it.

Throw in a melting pot of 80s music – everything from Night Ranger to Violent Femmes – that cements the strange hodgepodge that was that decade trying to figure itself out, And Air is not only a showcase of a moment in history, but a love letter to that crazy moment in time. Don’t really “get” sports, or sneakers? Me neither. But I absolutely loved Air. If you’re into masterfully well made stories? You will too.

#Protip: Yeah, you know I’m digging the delicious 80-ness of the costuming here. While Women’s Wear Daily has a great article, it’s behind a paywall, so… But Footwear News talks about how costumer Charlese Antoinette Jones used the Nike brand as seasoning rather than the main course. As it actually was back in the day…’til Mike came to town.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Air”!

Hey sneakerheads! Synopsis!

From award-winning director Ben Affleck, AIR reveals the unbelievable game-changing partnership between a then-rookie Michael Jordan and Nike’s fledgling basketball division which revolutionized the world of sports and contemporary culture with the Air Jordan brand. This moving story follows the career-defining gamble of an unconventional team with everything on the line, the uncompromising vision of a mother who knows the worth of her son’s immense talent, and the basketball phenom who would become the greatest of all time.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves successfully rolls for initiative – huzzah!

“Grand larceny and skullduggery!”

Story: Poor Edgin. All he wanted was to be a good Harper, love his wife and daughter, and live in his groovy cottage. But Red Wizards put a stop to that. Now he and his bestie Holga are running from the law, trying to sort out their issues. But Edgin’s daughter Kira – and a magical artifact that could bring Edgin’s wife back from the dead – are in the hands of frenemy Forge Fitzwilliam. I’m sure there’ll be no need for quests, getting a band together, special artifacts, or anything like that. Things’ll be cool. Yep.

Genre I’d put it in: Roll Playing Films That Got It Right
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the RPG (roll playing game) Dungeons & Dragons.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves”!

Ready to campaign? Synopsis!

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers undertake an epic heist to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves brings the rich world and playful spirit of the legendary roleplaying game to the big screen in a hilarious and action packed adventure.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Boo-Boo Review – “Scream VI”!

When I’m recovering from something stupid, time for a quick, easy to type review! Let’s gooooo!

“Who gives a fuck about movies?”

Genre: Franchise Slashers
Release Date: 2023
Where I Watched: Multiplex
Gist: The young survivors of Scream V head to NYC to either start college, or if your sam? Follow your sister to make sure she’s okay. But when yet another string of Ghostface murders happen near them? Let’s just say the gang is less than pleased to find themselves in a franchise.

What I Think:Y’all have my hand surgery to thank for this quickie. That, and the fact that I was too lazy to hit a DC screening for this film. But VI is a lot of fun, and sinks into the whole “Ghostface Takes Manhattan” vibe immediately; in fact, Jason Takes Manhattan is playing in a co-ed’s apartment near the beginning of the film. So fans will grok exactly what’s going on immediately. This is another loving homage to slasher movies that do way too many sequels, which is in danger of becoming a hypocritical commentary at this point in the Scream franchise. Still? The story here is worthy of another installment, and directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett (who both worked on V and Ready or Not, which is probably why the wonderful Samara Weaving is here. So thanks, guys.)

Matt & Tyler are able to wrangle cast members old and new, pulling them together to make a cohesive, believable new blend of friends, possible baddies, and soon-to-be-bodybagged. Special shout-out to Jasmin Savoy Brown who reprises her role as BFF/Randy’s niece Mindy. When I grow up, I want to be as cool as Mindy is. The movie clocks in at two hours, and while it doesn’t go by in a blink, it never drags. The gore is amped up a bit here – Mindy does give us a heads-up on that in the requisite film nerd 411 that always takes place in these films – and you’ll be gobsmaked as to who makes it (and who doesn’t) once the EMTs arrive and the slashing stops.

It’s a great way to spend two hours (or more, because commercials and trailers, sad sigh), and I recommend this to all fans of this franchise, and to anyone looking for a film where they can say “wow, that was more fun than I expected it to be” when the credits roll. Now I’m off to ice my hand. Be well out there y’all! Wear sunscreen.

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza – “John Wick 4”!

What’s our favorite dog lover up to? Only one way to find out… Synopsis!

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) uncovers a path to defeating The High Table. But before he can earn his freedom, Wick must face off against a new enemy with powerful alliances across the globe and forces that turn old friends into foes.

Ready? Let’s go!

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