Elsewhere Reviews – Lily’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups – 70% Cocoa

Posted on May 16, 2021 by Denise
Originally published on Green Man Review!

I’m iffy on Stevia. On the one hand, it’s a plant-based sweetener that’s super low calorie, so it’s a great swap for the chemical packets I typically put in my latte. On the other hand, it’s got a weird aftertaste that grosses me out whenever I overdo it. But Lily’s seems to have a knack with getting that perfect proportion of sweetness without aftertaste with these Stevia-sweetened cups. Pair that with Fair Trade and non-GMO ingredients, and this is about as guilt-free as you can get when you’re digging into a cheat day treat. Or an “I deserve this” treat. Or a “screw it I’m doing this” treat. You get the idea.

Full disclosure; I’m a huge fan of high-octane level dark chocolate (the folks who’ve been around for a while now know this), so when I saw these at the store I was predisposed to like them. I liked them even more when I opened the packet and notice each cup was individually packaged. In today’s Keep Everything Even Cleaner Than You’d Normally Do pandemic world? That’s a nice bonus. Plus, it’s easy to grab a few and shove them into my bag for an on-the-go treat. The individual packets are kind of tough to open, but I do concede that I’m an absolute klutz when it comes to opening candy packets. So it might just be a me thing that won’t affect you in the slightest.

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Freaky Fridays – “What Lies Below”

Posted on May 14, 2021 by Denise
Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool!

“Holy crap.” [Both a line of dialogue and my constant thought while watching this…movie.]

Genre: WTF Lovecraftian Wannabes
Year Released: 2020
Pedigree:
Where I Watched:  Netflix

Synopsis: Unlikeable 27 year old teenager gets to spend her summer with her immature, weird mom. Mom has a weird boyfriend. Maybe he’s not human? Maybe he’s just a guy that likes sniffing her clothes. Who’s to say?

Fabulous or Frustrating?: This is a film that feels like huge chunks of plot we’re gouged out at random. Because there are so many unanswered questions at the end of this film, I’d like to give the creators the benefit of the doubt that they actually did know what kind of story they wanted to tell, but were hampered by post-production? Otherwise this is just a garbage film by a bunch of people that don’t want know what the hell they were doing. So? Let’s get on with this.

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TrailerWatch – “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard”

Posted on May 13, 2021 by Denise

“I believe it’s pronounced ‘Thank You’.”

The combination of Ryan Reynolds and THE Samuel L. Jackson was *chef’s kiss* in The Hot Bodyguard. Salma Hayek’s Sonia got a wee bit of screen time in the original, but she was so electric there was no way they were gonna leave her story like that. So, hello there, sequel! Synopsis!

The world’s most lethal odd couple – bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) and hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) – are back on another life-threatening mission. Still unlicensed and under scrutiny, Bryce is forced into action by Darius’s even more volatile wife, the infamous international con artist Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek). As Bryce is driven over the edge by his two most dangerous protectees, the trio get in over their heads in a global plot and soon find that they are all that stand between Europe and a vengeful and powerful madman (Antonio Banderas). Joining in the fun and deadly mayhem is Morgan Freeman as…well, you’ll have to see.

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard hits (Hee) theaters June 16th, 2021.

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TrailerWatch – “The Forever Purge”

Posted on May 12, 2021 by Denise

“The Purge is over! Please!”
‘No it ain’t.’

Looks like the Purge series is adding a spin on the January 6th terrorist attack on the US Capitol to their mythology. And while it feels a bit too close to the real world, I’m curious… Synopsis!

This summer, all the rules are broken as a sect of lawless marauders decides that the annual Purge does not stop at daybreak and instead should never end in The Forever PurgeAdela (Ana de la Reguera, Cowboys & Aliens) and her husband Juan (Tenoch Huerta, Days of Grace) live in Texas, where Juan is working as a ranch hand for the wealthy Tucker family. Juan impresses the Tucker patriarch, Caleb (Will Patton, Halloween), but that fuels the jealous anger of Caleb’s son, Dylan (Josh Lucas, Ford v Ferrari)….

On the morning after The Purge, a masked gang of killers attacks the Tucker family—including Dylan’s wife (Cassidy Freeman, HBO’s The Righteous Gemstones), and his sister (Leven Rambin, The Hunger Games), forcing both families to band together and fight back as the country spirals into chaos and the United States begins to disintegrate around them.

#TheForeverPurge hits theaters July 2nd, 2021.

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TrailerWatch – “Venom: Let There Be Carnage”

Posted on May 10, 2021 by Denise

I’m one of those folks who didn’t mind Venom. Hardy did a great job of balancing Eddie Brock and the symbiote Venom. And Woody Harrelson gave us all a taste of the manic villain Carnage. So basically I’m up for a film that digs in to the conflict between these two. (Plus, I’m looking forward to seeing more from Michelle Williams. Give that award winning gal more screen time, Marvel!) Synopsis!

Tom Hardy returns to the big screen as the lethal protector Venom, one of MARVEL’s greatest and most complex characters. Directed by Andy Serkis, the film also stars Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris and Woody Harrelson, in the role of the villain Cletus Kasady/Carnage.

Venom: Let There be Carnage hits theaters – AND ONLY THEATERS – on September 24th, 2021.

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Freaky Fridays – “Stay Out of the F**king Attic”

Posted on April 30, 2021 by Denise
Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool!

“I got no signal.” [Of course you don’t, sweet pea. Are you new?]

Genre: Houses You Shouldn’t Go Into Fright Fests
Year Released: 2021
Pedigree: Shudder Original
Where I Watched: Shudder

Synopsis: Second Chance Moving Co.; a group of ex-cons who went straight and want to make some honest green. The old guy who hired them wants his home cleared out overnight, throwing more and more money at them when our gang think the job isn’t a good idea. But I’m sure there’s nothing iffy about that. They don’t even have to deal with the attic; it’s padlocked. But I’m sure there’s nothing iffy about that. And the old dude is sitting back, watching them via a bank of CCTVs. But I’m sure there’s nothing iffy about that…

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Elsewhere Reviews – “Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Marzipan”

Posted on April 28, 2021 by Denise
Originally published on The Green Man Review!

I have a love/hate relationship with almond candies. I adore candies with the whole (or chopped) nut added in. Candied almonds are also quite yummy. But then there’s marzipan. Perhaps it’s because I was raised on the quality stuff straight from German markets (thank you, Grossie), but cheaply made marzipan is an abomination. Syrupy, heavy handed with “almond flavoring”…it’s disappointment wrapped in foil. Give me the OG marzipan. Like this bar, for example. As my Grossie would say, Dem Germans know how to make marzipan. I concur.

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TrailerWatch – “Summer of Soul”

Posted on April 27, 2021 by Denise

During this year’s Oscars, Questlove briefly mentioned the documentary he’d been working on. Now we get a glimpse of his work. And a whole lot of fantastic music. Synopsis!

In his acclaimed debut as a filmmaker, Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson presents a powerful and transporting documentary—part music film, part historical record created around an epic event that celebrated Black history, culture and fashion. Over the course of six weeks in the summer of 1969, just one hundred miles south of Woodstock, The Harlem Cultural Festival was filmed in Mount Morris Park (now Marcus Garvey Park). The footage was never seen and largely forgotten–until now. SUMMER OF SOUL shines a light on the importance of history to our spiritual well-being and stands as a testament to the healing power of music during times of unrest, both past and present. The feature includes never-before-seen concert performances by Stevie Wonder, Nina Simone, Sly & the Family Stone, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Ray Baretto, Abbey Lincoln & Max Roach and more.

#SummerOfSoulMovie hits Hulu – and theaters – July 2nd, 2021.

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Freaky Fridays – “Slaxx”

Posted on April 23, 2021 by Denise
Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool!

“We take care of our own here at CCC.”

Genre: Surprisingly Deep Horror Comedies
Year Released: 2020 [film fests – 2021 wide release]
Pedigree: From the writer/director of Naughty Soxxx. [YEP]
Where I Watched:  Shudder

Synopsis: Libby is stoked to be working at CCC (Canadian Cotton Clothing). She’s been dreaming about working there. Poor thing quickly finds out everyone who works there is an asshat. But hey, they’re working at for a company that’s fair trade, organic, and sweatshop free! Wait, why is that pair of jeans so damn murderous? Lockdowns before season reveals can be MURDER, y’all…

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Catch-up Review – “The Trial of the Chicago 7”

Posted on April 22, 2021 by Denise

“A democratic convention is about to begin in a police state. There just doesn’t seem to be any other way to say it.” – an actual on-air statement from Walter Cronkite used in the beginning of this film

Nixon’s White House, eager to lock up “long hairs”. An untested law. Real history y’all. Add in rapid-fire kickass dialogue courtesy of Alan Sorkin, and performances that made me forget that Borat and Newt Scamander were playing revolutionaries? You’ve got a damn compelling two hours of courtroom shenanigans and genuine emotional impact.

The plot jumps from the seven (eight, really) individually getting ready for the Chicago Democratic Convention protests, and then suddenly cuts to day one of the trial. This keeps viewers off-base, eager to find out what happened, and why. Using dramatic recreations and historical footage, the film shows that the screenplay ain’t just liberal mumbo jumbo, it’s based on real documented events. It’s a sobering juxtaposition among the comedic back and forth between the main characters.

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