Got anything going on tomorrow night? Why not hang out with Keanu? Synopsis!
In GOOD FORTUNE, a well-meaning but rather inept angel named Gabriel (Keanu Reeves) meddles in the lives of a struggling gig worker (Aziz Ansari) and a wealthy venture capitalist (Seth Rogen).
Ready? Let’s go!
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“Ernest? My ass! I CAN SEE MY ASS!”
Story: Ever since high school, actress Madeline Ashton and writer Helen Sharp have been frenemies. But when Madeline steals Helen’s fiancé Ernest? Helen snaps. Years later though, Helen is a thriving author whose 50 years look more like 35. So Madeline decides to go visit a woman who seems to have the answers to aging. But now, a warning…
Scares: None. This is campy, not creepy.
Splat Factor: Some blood, as the ladies go to town on each other.
Subgenre: Campy Horror Satires
Year Released: 1992
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original
Trick or Treat?: I remember liking this one a lot when I first watched it. My re-watch showed me the fun, and the flaws, in this lightweight satire.
“You got the devil bear.”
Story: Yellowstone National Park. Beautiful. Deadly? Well, some hunter shoots a baby grizzly cub like a complete asshole. Then shoots momma… But she’s not dead. Hunter, you done messed with the wrong Tawanda. Yeah, her name is Tawanda. Dammit. And she’s not only mad at humans, she absolutely hates 80s Euro-pop.
Scares: None. This is just 80s horror cheese.
Splat Factor: Offscreen, and some poorly done proto-CGI of bears getting shot.
Subgenre: Campy Sequels To Campy Movies
Year Released: 1983 (filmed) 2020 (released) Why? Because.
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Sequel to the 1976 film Grizzly.
Trick or Treat?: Grizzly II has everything. Stars before they were famous. Shouting bears. Bad, off-key 80s Euro-pop. Native English speakers spouting pidgin English to portray “native authenticity”. Pointless subplots that fizzle out. Bad guys on sad looking dirt bikes. And lots of off screen kills.
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“May your slashes be swift & sure, & may your success know no bounds. ❤️, Dad P.S. Follow the rules.”
Story: The killer known as Bladecut is infamous. His films are classics of the horror genre. But let’s face it, the guy is aging out. Time to tap a successor. His daughter Abbie is eager to take on the mantle, and lord knows she’s studied at the knee of the legend. But what if one of your victims is, like, really cute though? And, y’know, your dad like, killed her girlfriend last year? I mean, Sam is single now, right? Right.
Scares: Meh.
Splat Factor: Slasher killers equal some fun kills.
Subgenre: Slasher Killers All In The Family
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original
Trick or Treat?: Great cast, great premise, and fun, effective FX. So why was I bored? Maybe because Wound doesn’t know what to do with it all. There’s a lack of cohesion to the story and emotional weight that lies firmly at the feet of the director. This film is yet another victim of the written/directed/produced-by curse. With Matthew John Lawrence helming all three positions, he succeeds at none of them.
“Wanna play Crack The Apocalypse?”
Story: 15 years after a global apocalypse, dad Paul, his sons Joseph and Thomas, and the bestest doggo Rocco, are simply trying to survive. But what happens when dad gets hurt, and the rebellious boys have to step up? Well…
Scares: Great “who goes there” creepiness
Splat Factor: Blood and guts. Plus a dissection scene. So, yeah.
Subgenre: Post-apocalyptic Monster Drama
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:Original
Trick or Treat?: Nic Cage, baybeeeee! This film is genuinely chilling, and a great one for a night where you want to be afraid of every creak and groan in your house. Arcadian is a quiet horror that centers around the bonds between brothers, sons, fathers, and family. Y’know, with the ever present threat of gruesome death around every corner.
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“Don’t you want to be a good guy?”
Story: Jeff just can’t catch a break. He’s been floundering ever since his tour in the 82nd Airborne ended. His wife divorced him, gaining custody of their three young children. And money? Well, he gets that by robbing places. So naturally, he gets busted…only to break out. But where to hide out ’til things cool down? Why not be a Toys ‘R’ Us kid? Not like he’s gonna fall in love or anything.
Genre I’d put it in: Based On A True Story That Feels Like Straight To Streaming
Release Date: 2025
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original:Based on the life of Jeffrey Manchester, called “Roofman” for his MO of breaking into places through the roof.
Gotta say: This shallow bait-and-switch of a movie puts highly likeable characters into a film that switches gears in the last act. Which is fine if there’s a solid foundation in the screenplay, but here? It feels like this wannabe Netflix meet-cute story record-scratches into a “well’p, guess I am actually the bad guy but now I’m wiser” ending. Spoiler? Kinda, if you don’t know about the man this is based on. But y’know what? I don’t care. Roofman is an enjoyable if tepid by the numbers romance that becomes absolutely insufferable at the end. I really hope this stellar cast got seriously paid for starring in this clunker.
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“Disasters plague a nation that lacks leadership.”
Story: It’s 1527, and a deadly plague has been unleashed on the people of Korea. To add insult to injury, there’s talk of a monstrous beast haunting the woods outside Joseon (modern day Seoul). What’s causing th is horrible plague? Is this all myth, man, or actual monster? Why not all three?
Scares: Lots of darkness, hidden corners, and a huge, hideously mutated monster (poor sweet kitten never deserved this.)
Splat Factor: People get got. Lots of people.
Subgenre: Historical Horrors With Subtitles (suck it up, buttercup.)
Year Released: 2018
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original
Trick or Treat?: Miss Kingdom? Me too. So why not tune into another K-Horror about a deadly plague? Director Jong-ho Huh blends drama, horror, mythology and even humor to create one hell of a fun ride in this action-driven horror.
Continue readingIt’s that time again, kiddies. Time for me to unleash this year’s horror playlist. All of these are songs I haven’t used in prior playlists. I don’t think.
So, when you need some spooky background sounds? Here you go.
“Twick or Tweeeet!”
Story: It’s time for Halloween, ghoulies, ghosties, and long-legged beasties! But before you go out, you might wanna revisit your Halloween etiquette. And maybe don’t go whole-hog on the holiday to the point of making an ass out of yourself. Oh, and while Halloween themed stuff is all well and good, perhapsbe a little selective on what you choose to partake of. Because you never know.
Scares: Lots of fun creepy, gross, and/or horrific moments.
Splat Factor: As with the rest of the V/H/S films? Oh yep. Though this is most definitely the grossest.
Subgenre: Anthology Halloween Horrors
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: The eighth film of the V/H/S franchise.
Trick or Treat?: It’s October, so you know what that means; time for another installment in the V/H/S franchise! And this one might be the best one yet. Or at least the most fun you’ll have with a gang of friends. Halloween is tailor-made for group viewing, because you’ll definitely want your nearest and dearest nearby to scream and shot with.
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“Ass balls.” [truer words…]
Story: A group of guys and their trusty producer create phony “ghost hunter” videos. That these guys call their show S.P.I.T. (Spirit Paranormal Investigation Team) tells you all you really need to know about these jackasses. So obviously, they’re gonna hit a place that’s actually haunted, right? Right.
Scares: Just the sinking feeling that you’ve wasted precious time in your life watching this garbage.
Splat Factor: All off-screen, with the syrup & red dye shown after the “carnage”.
Subgenre: Boring Found Footage Ghost Chasers
Year Released: 2014
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but it feels like a cut-and-paste of other films in this subgenre.
Trick or Treat?: Grove was such a nothing, I forgot the whole damn thing less than a day after watching it. So I had to watch it again. On Tubi. With commercials. I feel like I deserve a medal. But I’ll take Halloween candy instead. Reeses pumpkins would be awesome.
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Got a dollar to spare? A quarter?
Atomic Fangirl 