Atomic Fangirl

“You got the devil bear.”

Story: Yellowstone National Park. Beautiful. Deadly? Well, some hunter shoots a baby grizzly cub like a complete asshole. Then shoots momma… But she’s not dead. Hunter, you done messed with the wrong Tawanda. Yeah, her name is Tawanda. Dammit. And she’s not only mad at humans, she absolutely hates 80s Euro-pop.

Scares: None. This is just 80s horror cheese.
Splat Factor:  Offscreen, and some poorly done proto-CGI of bears getting shot.

Subgenre: Campy Sequels To Campy Movies
Year Released: 1983 (filmed) 2020 (released) Why? Because.
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Sequel to the 1976 film Grizzly.

Trick or Treat?: Grizzly II has everything. Stars before they were famous. Shouting bears. Bad, off-key 80s Euro-pop. Native English speakers spouting pidgin English to portray “native authenticity”. Pointless subplots that fizzle out. Bad guys on sad looking dirt bikes. And lots of off screen kills.

“May your slashes be swift & sure, & may your success know no bounds. ❤️, Dad  P.S. Follow the rules.”

Story: The killer known as Bladecut is infamous. His films are classics of the horror genre. But let’s face it, the guy is aging out. Time to tap a successor. His daughter Abbie is eager to take on the mantle, and lord knows she’s studied at the knee of the legend. But what if one of your victims is, like, really cute though? And, y’know, your dad like, killed her girlfriend last year? I mean, Sam is single now, right? Right.

Scares: Meh.
Splat Factor: Slasher killers equal some fun kills.

Subgenre: Slasher Killers All In The Family
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Great cast, great premise, and fun, effective FX. So why was I bored? Maybe because Wound doesn’t know what to do with it all. There’s a lack of cohesion to the story and emotional weight that lies firmly at the feet of the director. This film is yet another victim of the written/directed/produced-by curse. With Matthew John Lawrence helming all three positions, he succeeds at none of them.

“Disasters plague a nation that lacks leadership.”

Story: It’s 1527, and a deadly plague has been unleashed on the people of Korea. To add insult to injury, there’s talk of a monstrous beast haunting the woods outside Joseon (modern day Seoul). What’s causing th is horrible plague? Is this all myth, man, or actual monster? Why not all three?

Scares: Lots of darkness, hidden corners, and a huge, hideously mutated monster (poor sweet kitten never deserved this.)
Splat Factor: People get got. Lots of people.

Subgenre: Historical Horrors With Subtitles (suck it up, buttercup.)
Year Released: 2018
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Miss Kingdom? Me too. So why not tune into another K-Horror about a deadly plague? Director Jong-ho Huh blends drama, horror, mythology and even humor to create one hell of a fun ride in this action-driven horror.

“It happened again. A lot.”

Story: Senior year baby! Mara is sick to death of high school, and could just explode with ennui. But then one of her classmate actually does explode. Like, all over everybody, and right during calc too. Ew. It’s not an isolated incident, and as Mara’s classmates start to literally poof out of existence, the government, parents, and the students themselves try to figure out what’s happening. Meanwhile, Mara’s got a secret admirer that decides if everybody’s ‘sploding? Why not fess up.

Scares: Nope. Though the story is ooky, it’s more comedy than horror.
Splat Factor: This is literally a movie about spontaneous explosions of human beings. Guess.

Subgenre: High School Horrors
Year Released: 2020
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the 2016 novel by Aaron Starmer.


Trick or Treat?: Damn son. 2020 was a helluva perfect time to release this – during COVID lockdown. A “disease” that nobody understands, locking down the senior class? Fuuuuuuu. I wish I’d watched it then. Still, Spontaneous is a wildly unusual film, that’s not only a commentary on how we interact with The Youths, but how we handle a crisis. Again, damn timely for 2020. And now.