“I’m a fucking brown belt, bitch!”

Story: I’m a writer! I need to experience things in order to write about them! So, girlfriend and bro, let’s go check out a Florida sinkhole in the middle of nowhere, and search for feral children living in them! I’m sure we won’t be ambushed by crazies ready to see what we’ll do for food once we’re really hungry…

Scares: A few chills, mostly of the gotcha variety.

Splat factor: Surprisingly little, considering the story. But there is red here and there.

Closing scene “shocker”?: A mid-credits scene that ruins a really good wrap-up.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: First things first; there really are sinkholes in Florida. Hey, Florida Man has to come from somewhere, amirite?

Now, about the movie. Starve is a strange lightweight blend of Saw, Hostel, and The Hills Have Eyes. But excellent performances from the cast lift this movie up past the usual horror pastiche. As the couple who get caught in this weird web, Mariah Bonner and Bobby Campo deliver good Freaked Out City Folks.

But it’s the other characters that really shine. Sadly, they’re mostly listed as “extra”, and/or don’t have an IMDb pic. They’re fantastic though, especially the father and daughter who are shocked and hardened by what they’ve seen and done.

Though the story can be a bit draggy at times, the last half hour has a cool climax and nice payoff. That people are capable of doing just about anything to keep from starving to death is an incredible premise, but the film spends too much time on quick scenes rather than really digging into that.

Skip the midcredits scene and be happy, or stay for it and roll your eyes at the same old “but wait!” bullshit.

Score: 3.5 out of 5 pumpkins. Knocked down a bit because of that stupid “shocker” midcredits scene.