#31in31 – Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Denise

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oct 5 wyrmwood

“What did we learn? “NEVER GET OUT OF THE TRUCK!”

Story: Aww, shooting stars in the Australian sky. So pretty. Hey, where’d these zombies come from? And why is that creepy scientist “looking for a cure” just as scary?

Scares: More of a zombie slaughterfest.

Splat factor: Big. On a scale of 1 (Pride and Prejudice) to 10 (Dead Alive), this clocks in at a respectable 7. It’d be higher but several scenes are night shots. Not conducive to crystal clear splatter.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope. Thank goodness. The ending is satisfying as hell. Continue reading →

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Jem and the Holograms!

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Denise

jem onesheetJem!  If your left hand just shot up into the air, you’re either an 80s kid (yayz) or you have excellent retro taste.  As with all things cool and retro, there’s a film version of this beloved animated series. And you guessed it; I’ve got passes for my Baltimore peoples.  Synopsis!

As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a one-in-a-million journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden.  In Universal Pictures’ Jem and the Holograms, four aspiring musicians will take the world by storm when they see that the key to creating your own destiny lies in finding your own voice.

Directed by Jon M. Chu (Step Up series, G.I. Joe: Retaliation), the musical adventure stars Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis.  Jem and the Holograms, based on the iconic Hasbro animated TV series, is written by Ryan Landels and produced by Chu, Jason Blum for Blumhouse Productions, Scooter Braun for SB Projects, Bennett Schneir, and Brian Goldner and Stephen Davis of Hasbro Studios.

As Jon M. Chu has done great work with music and dance with Step Up (no seriously; there’s no possible way you can keep from digging on the moves in those films.  LIAR), this could be groovy.  I’m not entirely sure about the revamp story…but hey.  It’s Jem!  (JEM!)

Passes?  Right this way… Continue reading →

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Nutshell Review: Bridge of Spies

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Denise

bridge of spies onesheet Bridge of Spies is just like the other Hanks/Spielberg joints; a feel-good film dressed in historical detail and accuracy.  While folks that didn’t live through the late 50s/early 60s Berlin conflict may find the start of the film a bit rushed, Bridge soon finds its footing and becomes a stellar performance-driven film.

Are things tidied up a bit too nicely at the end, as Spielberg is wont to do?  Oh, that’d be spoilers, darling.  But let’s just say that there’s enough true-life feel throughout the tale to keep things believable, with a touch of humor to keep things from feeling too bleak.  And the ever-likeable Hanks manages to do the impossible; make an insurance lawyer look like one of the good guys.  Grade: A-

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#31in31: WaPo’s “Where to live if you want to survive the zombie apocalypse”

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Denise
31 in 31 logoAnd now for something completely different: zombie prep!
WaPo Zombie Survivability

East Coast, we’re screwed. (Graphic: Christopher Ingraham/The Washington Post)

It’s one thing to think you’re prepared.  But all that prep isn’t gonna do squat for you if you’re in city-central when the zombie apocalypse (Zombalypse?) hits.  So in its effort to be all things to everyone, The Washington Post wrote a piece on the safest places to be if the dead start to shufflin’.  And it’s actually pretty cool.*

Though the image above shows the east coast and most major cities as Zombie Central, heading over to the original piece gives you the ability to choose things that are the most important to you:

  • Population Density
  • Access to guns
  • Veteran population
  • Landscape features
  • Access to bodies of water

G’head, play with it!  Christopher Ingraham is a genius.  GENIUS I SAY.

Ingraham’s article also has links to cool stuff like Cornell’s research model of a zombie outbreak — with further details on that bit(e) of interactive coolness — as well as scads of info on the items he decided were integral to surviving a Zombalypse.  Yeah, that word is growing on me.

Wanna see my particular chart?  Here you go: Continue reading →

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Elsewhere Review: Freeheld

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Denise
As always, clicky the title for the original piece!

Movie Review: Freeheld

freeheld onesheet

Nutshell: a story about two quiet people who had to stand up for their rights doesn’t have to be this quiet.  In searching for the heart of this story, the filmmakers lost its soul.  Grade: C

I wasn’t sure what I thought of Freeheld after I saw it.  I wasn’t sure a week later. I’m a card-carrying hippie commie pinko; shouldn’t I be falling all over myself to worship a film that’s brave enough to tackle the story of a woman and her domestic partner fighting the system for equal rights?

It’s a quiet film.  But does a film have to shout to get its message across?  It doesn’t dig too deeply into the personal lives of the real-life folks these characters are based on.  But does a film need to uncover everything in order to be true to that person?
Continue reading →

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#31in31: Children of the Corn

Posted on October 15, 2015 by Denise
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Synced with the 31 Day Horror Movie Challenge

oct 15 Children of the Corn“He wants you too…”

Story: newly graduated med student and his girlfriend decide to take the “scenic route” through corn country.  BIG mistake.  Huge.  Because a few years back the kids of Gatlin decided to kill everyone over 18 and worship “He Who Walks Behind The Rows”.  Welcome, y’all!

Scares: The whole film is surprisingly creepy.

Splat factor: A bit of blood here and there, but otherwise it’s a tame R by today’s standards.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Only if you’ve read the original story. Continue reading →

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#31in31 – Sleepy Hollow

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Denise

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oct 10 sleepy hollow

Kill it! No, no! Stun it!

Story: A headless horseman has been decapitating people in Sleepy Hollow. Constable Ichabod Crane thinks the killer is flesh and blood. The people of Sleepy Hollow think otherwise…

Scares: Of the Dark And Stormy Night variety, with a few shocks thrown in for good measure.

Splat factor: Decapitations, and a few other murders. Some blood during Crane’s “forensics”. And the coolest bleeding tree. But nothing over the top. Continue reading →

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Love the Coopers!

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Denise

love the coopers onesheetReady for the holidays?  No, I’m not talking about Halloween and Day of the Dead.  I’m talking about Chrismuswanzyulkka!  No?

Me neither.  I don’t even know what I want to be for Halloween this year.  In fact, I’m thinking that the Peanuts gang had it right with the ghosts thing.

But wanna see a holiday movie super early?  Just think of the bragging rights!  Today it’s all about Love the Coopers.  Roll synopsis!

Love the Coopers follows the Cooper clan as four generations of extended family come together for their annual Christmas Eve celebration.  As the evening unfolds, a series of unexpected visitors and unlikely events turn the night upside down, leading them all toward a surprising rediscovery of family bonds and the spirit of the holiday.

So, in for it?  Read on… Continue reading →

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31 in 31- Knock ’em Dead

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Denise

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Oct 7 knock em dead“I’m sorry.  I only like four-legged bitches.”

Story: 2003 saw a blockbuster horror movie. Ten years later, the three leads put aside their mutual hatred for a sequel on the same island where they filmed the first one. But before cameras roll, people start dying…and hey, there’s no way to get off the island!

Scares: The horror that only comes from knowing you’re watching complete crap.

Splat factor: A splash of red here and there. Everything happens off camera. Continue reading →

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: The Last Witch Hunter

Posted on October 12, 2015 by Denise

last witch hunter onesheetVin Diesel IS a badass.  It is known.  But did you know he can lay the smackdown on witches too?  Yeah baby; The Last Witch Hunter is Diesel’s latest, and it sounds groovy.  Synopsis!

The modern world holds many secrets, but the most astounding secret of all is that witches still live among us; vicious supernatural creatures intent on unleashing the Black Death upon the world. Armies of witch hunters battled the unnatural enemy across the globe for centuries, including KAULDER, a valiant warrior who managed to slay the all-powerful QUEEN WITCH, decimating her followers in the process. In the moments right before her death, the QUEEN curses KAULDER with her own immortality, forever separating him from his beloved wife and daughter in the afterlife. Today KAULDER is the only one of his kind remaining, and has spent centuries hunting down rogue witches, all the while yearning for his long-lost loved ones. However, unbeknownst to KAULDER, the QUEEN WITCH is resurrected and seeks revenge on her killer causing an epic battle that will determine the survival of the human race.

So, ready to watch him save the world again?  Right this way… Continue reading →

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