The What/Why/How of “He Named Me Malala”

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Denise
he named me malala onesheetSometimes a film is easy to sum up.  Sometimes it sucks so terribly, or shines so brightly, that a quick writeup is all that’s needed.  Onward, to He Named Me Malala!

Nutshell: An interesting look inside the real life of Nobel laureate Malala Yousafzai that shows not only her life and work, but takes a powerful look at the ways the Taliban corrupt and destroy their own people and religion.  Grade: A-

What is it: See above.

Why should you see it: He Named Me Malala does an incredible job with outlining Malala Yousafzai’s life, and what led her to her advocacy.  Definitely recommended for people interested in knowing more about this young lady, film lovers intrigued by Davis Guggenheim’s documentary style that melds animation and live action, and folks who want to know more about what’s going on in the world around us. Continue reading →

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31 in 31 — Leprechaun: Origins

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Denise

31 in 31 logo

oct 1 Leprechaun Origins“Fuck you, lucky charms!”

Story: Four American hikers want to an Irish village where the neighboring locals fear to tread. But the villagers in Creepy Distant Town are really cool, and very welcoming. In fact, the villagers tell our gang about a cool ancient ruin, and even let them stay rent free at a cabin in middle of the woods. Hey, why is our gang locked in?

Scares: A few genuine chills of the “Where’s The Leprechaun” variety. And one seriously well done twist in the middle of the film I didn’t see coming. Plus, the leprechaun is more Descent-esque monster than St. Patrick’s Day abomination. So that’s nice. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Pan

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Denise

pan onesheet

Nutshell: Much more of a madcap good time than the source material, even if the plot is scattershot and at times unintelligible.  But if you’re a lover of gorgeous CGI who cares? Bring forth the flying pirate ships and amazing technicolor natives! Grade: B-

Peter Pan had to come from somewhere.  Ever wonder where?  In Pan, director Joe Wright (Atonement, 2005’s Pride & Prejudice) and screenwriter Jason Fuchs (Ice Age: Continental Drift, the upcoming Wonder Woman) unpack Peter’s backstory.  And all apologies to author J.M. Barrie, but Pan is a whole lot more fun than Peter Pan ever was.  Maybe because I’ve always been more Oz than Neverland.  Maybe because this origin story zips through the plot to get from one amazing setup to the next.

Pan is a gloriously over-the-top action adventure romp that zooms through its story, striving to top itself with each subsequent scene.  You’ll probably be too busy absorbing all the flashy to realize the plot is bouncing around like a fairy on acid.  You may not understand most of it, but you won’t be bored. Continue reading →

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31 in 31: “Monster Science” on YouTube

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Denise

31 in 31 logo

And now, a break from our usual 31 in 31 reviews.  Behold — monsters!  MONSTERS!

I’m a huge sucker for podcasts.  So of course I’m addicted to How Stuff Works.  But the guys that discuss all the things also get a little spooky; Monster Science is a group of videos that digs into the horrific and shows the science behind it all.  Be it true facts about our favorite monsters, or riffing on a genre favorite to get their science on, it’s a scream.

With titles like “Halloween’s Dormant Killer”, “Tentacles of Cthulhu”, and “Sex and Death: The Science of Jason Voorhees”, there’s sure to be an ep you’re dying to sink your fangs into.  I know I’ll be re-watching ’em this Halloween Month.  So check ’em out…IF YOU DARE. *cue creepy laughter*

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#31in31 – V/H/S: Viral (and my first ever negative film rating)

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Denise

31 in 31 logo
Oct 7 VHS Viral

“WHAT THE FUCK???”

Okay, this movie is such unmitigated garbage that I don’t want to spend any more time writing it up to fit the template.

Let’s just do this:

This pathetic anthology “film” has bad acting, horrible direction, and the worst editing I’ve ever seen (and I watched Pot Zombies.) Sloppy, amateurish, and with no sense of rhyme or reason beyond gettin’ those Benjamins, this film is a pure waste of time. Pity, as V/H/S and V/H/S/2 don’t suck.

Score: Zero pumpkins…no. This gets my first ever Negative Pumpkin. It’s that much of a disappointing, obnoxious mess my score for it dips into negative digits.

Pumpkin NEGATIVE

P.S.: I usually take notes when I watch a film I’m gonna review.  Wanna read my stream of thought while I was watching this turd? G’head…
Continue reading →

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Off the shelf: Oh, Hell Vol. 1

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Denise

oh hell vol 1 cover

Nutshell: Cool premise, slick art, beautiful colors, and characters you wanna root for.  I’m not fully understanding the mythos yet, but I’m digging the story.  Oh, Hell just jumped into my webcomics queue.

Story: Poor confused Zoel.  Doesn’t know where she fits in, not sure why she screws up, the definitive high school bad girl.  But when her parents find out about The Academy — a school Zoel hasn’t been bounced out of yet — they jump at it.  But this school ain’t Hogwarts; it’s Hell.  And to quote the tagline; “Not only is The Academy actually in Hell…it’s pass/fail.”

Best Lines:

“Power?  What power do we have?  WE’RE 15!”

“If you ever want to find me…just follow the trail of innocents I leave behind.”

Thoughts: Ah, Baltimore Comic-Con.  Cons are the time to find stuff you didn’t know existed.  And I’m glad I found Oh, Hell.  Written by G. Wassil (mythology by Wassil and Connell), I love Dave Hamann’s gorgeous art, and the colors by Birkhofer and Campbell almost lift off the page.  The detail is fantastic, and I’m glad Vol. 1 slipped in a sketch gallery at the end of the book, so I could really take a look at how these images were created.  And y’all know I’m a sucker for well done letters, and Troy Peteri does a bang-up job. Continue reading →

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31 in 31 – Icetastrophe

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Denise

31 in 31 logo

Oct 6 icetastrophe“Hey, see that? Is that a shooting star?”

Story: Comet? That thing? That’s nothing. BOOM. Cue explosive ice explosions! Because sure.

Scares: Absolutely zero. TV disaster movie mixed with more than a touch of sapfest.

Splat factor: See above. Unless you count below SyFy level CGI (frozen folks shatter into red ice cubes! Obvious cartoony blood that erupts sorta near redshirts!) – oh wait. This IS a SyFy joint. This ain’t no Sharknado.

Closing scene “shocker”?: only that I wasted almost an hour and a half of my life on this. NOOOOO! Continue reading →

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Horror movie “Easter Sunday” because we’re running out of horror holidays

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Denise

easter-sunday-posterFriday the 13th.  My Bloody Valentine.  April Fool’s Day. Halloween. Thankskilling. Black Christmas. New Year’s Evil. Heck even the 4th of July has Uncle Sam. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the holiday calendar, Easter Sunday is coming to make sure you don’t hippity hop anytime soon.

Okay, this looks like low budget cheesy goodness.  You’ve gotta love a film whose tagline – “This year everyone will be executed EGGSECUTED!” – is such a hoot.  And it has Robert Z’Dar as Sheriff Arkin, the guy who’s gunnin’ for bunny.  If he seems familiar, you’re right; he was undead officer Matt Cordell in the Manic Cop series.  Z’Dar passed away this year, and Easter Sunday will be dedicated to him.

Read on for the full press release, and check out the trailer below!

Continue reading →

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Goosebumps!

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Denise

Goosebumps onesheetAlrighty 90s children.  Let’s get this retro party started, shall we?  Because today brings passes for the Baltimore area screening of Goosebumps!  Yeah, didn’t we all read those suckers back in the day?  Yes, I’m an 80s child, thanks for noticing. But I still dug the ‘bumps.  Because scary.  Synopsis!

Scholastic has over 400 million Goosebumps books worldwide in 32 languages in print since the series introduction in 1992, earning critical acclaim and dominating global best seller lists. R.L. Stine has been recognized as one of the bestselling children’s authors in history.  Now, the literary phenomenon is coming to the big screen.

In Goosebumps, teenager Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette), upset about moving from a big city to a small town, finds a silver lining when he meets the beautiful girl, Hannah (Odeya Rush), living right next door, and makes a quick friend in Champ (Ryan Lee).  But every silver lining has a cloud, and Zach’s comes when he learns that Hannah’s mysterious dad is in fact R.L. Stine (Jack Black), the author of the bestselling Goosebumps series.  As Zach starts learning about the strange family next door, he soon discovers that Stine holds a dangerous secret: the creatures that his stories made famous are real, and Stine protects his readers by keeping them locked up in their books.  When Stine’s creations are unintentionally released from their manuscripts, Zach’s life takes a turn for the weird.  In a crazy night of adventure, it’s up to Zach, Hannah, Champ, and Stine to team up and get all of these figments of Stine’s imagination – including Slappy the Dummy, the girl with the haunted mask, the gnomes and many more – back in the books where they belong to save the town.

Ready to see your favorite R.L. Stine spookies on the big screen?  Right this way… Continue reading →

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31 in 31- The Club

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Denise
31 in 31 logoSynched with the 31 Day Horror Movie Challenge

club_video_poster“Sometimes I just wish it was over.”

Story: kids go to prom at a “creepy” castle/building/prom/set. The clock strikes midnight…and you’ll need to drop acid to figure out this convoluted mess after that.

Scares: None. They try…but they fail.

Splat factor: This film is too low budget for serious splatter. Everything looks straight out of Party City.

Closing scene “shocker”?: I think there’s supposed to be some clever twist, but I’d lost interest.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though this story feels cobbled together from Prom Night, Night of the Demons, and several other “then there were none” spookfests. Oh yeah, throw in the POV zoom from Evil Dead while you’re at it.  They’ve stolen everything, and instead of giving it their own spin, it feels…like you’d rather be watching those other films.

Trick or Treat?: This is the perfect movie for people who are scared of horror films. It’s too boring to scare anyone. Continue reading →

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