“Wish” – new story, old hat

Posted on November 17, 2023 by Denise


“A squirrel just said good morning to me…. What do you say to a squirrel?”

Story: Welcome to the Kingdom of Rosas! Here, our King is a magnificent sorcerer that can grant wishes! Just give him your wish on your 18th birthday – or as soon as you enter the kingdom if you’re older – and he will keep it safe for you, until he grants it. Maybe grants it. Soon-to-be 18 year old Asha isn’t sure about that, after she interviews to become his appretice. So she wishes in secret. A wish so powerful it…but I’m getting ahead of myself. Hey, talking mushrooms!

Genre I’d put it in: Lackluster Disney Offerings
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, but shamelessly rips off harks back to Disney films like Tangled, Frozen, and Pocahontas.

Gotta say: Wish feels like a throwback to the Bronze Age; a film with all good intentions, but with little of those hopes translating to the screen. Children, die-hard Disney adults, and many theater kids will have a good time, but this kid felt cheated. I’m not mad, I’m disappoint…no. I’m kinda mad. When I left the screening, I tried my very best to drum up some goodwill, and while there are fun tidbits – any time the star is playing with a ball of red yarn immediately springs to mind – Wish is pablum when I wanted heartier, deeper, fare.

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“The Hunger Games: The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes”

Posted on November 15, 2023 by Denise

“Snow lands on top.”

Story: It’s time for the tenth annual Hunger Games. After Panem’s failed revolution decimated the Capitol, the once shining city is starting to rebuild. A young Coriolanus “Cori” Snow is tasked with being the mentor for a District 12 tribute, with his future riding on whether he can make her a “star”. But when the Games – and Lucy Gray – become more than he’d bargained for, he must re-evaluate what is truly important to him. Spoiler alert: he’s the villain in the OG trilogy, so don’t expect much.

Genre I’d put it in: Prequels of Popular Series
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Prequel to the Hunger Games trilogy of books and films. Based on the book of the same name.

Gotta say: The thing with prequels is this; it’s not that we’re watching to see what will happen. We know what will come later, as we’ve seen the film/read the book. It’s the telling of the tale that’s the thing. And Snakes takes viewers to a struggling but proud Capitol, letting us see how post-war District 1 was torn between retribution and forgiveness amid new life. Director Francis Lawrence returns to Panem – or is that travels back in time? – and delivers a story that has its own feel, but with plenty of touchstones that keep us rooted in this world. I wasn’t sure I was up for a prequel that focused on the Big Bad of the original story, but with Snakes, it’s the city struggling after years of strife, and how it’s trying to climb out of the hole it dug itself, that I found truly fascinating.

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“Napoleon” isn’t Ridley Scott’s Waterloo, but it’s just as muddy

Posted on November 15, 2023 by Denise

“Destiny has brought me here! Destiny has brought me this lamb chop!”

Story: It’s 1789, and Marie Antoinette has been beheaded during the rabid tide of the French Revolution. As years pass, a Corsican military commander named Napoleon Bonaparte seeks a chance to show his quality. He succeeds, and fails, in glorious fashion.

Genre I’d put it in: Montage-esque Biopics With Glorious Art Direction
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the life and times of Napoleon Bonaparte.

Gotta say: I am a dilettante when it comes to history. I know what I know, but am always keen on learning more stuff, especially if wonderful costuming is part of the package. And Napoleon gives me everything my eyes require; the cities, camps, homes, and barracks look lived-in, not simply historically accurate. Same for the costumes and set pieces. And director Ridley Scott gives the battle scenes a Game of Thrones feel through the gray-blue colors and accurately gross FX. Pity the story is such a mess.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “The Hunger Games: The Ballad Of Songbirds & Snakes”!

Posted on November 13, 2023 by Denise

Ready to go back to Panem? Synopsis!

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES follows a young Coriolanus (Tom Blyth) who is the last hope for his failing lineage, the once-proud Snow family that has fallen from grace in a post-war Capitol. With his livelihood threatened, Snow is reluctantly assigned to mentor Lucy Gray Baird (Rachel Zegler), a tribute from the impoverished District 12. But after Lucy Gray’s charm captivates the audience of Panem, Snow sees an opportunity to shift their fates. With everything he has worked for hanging in the balance, Snow unites with Lucy Gray to turn the odds in their favor. Battling his instincts for both good and evil, Snow sets out on a race against time to survive and reveal if he will ultimately become a songbird or a snake.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“The Holdovers”

Posted on November 9, 2023 by Denise


“You can’t even dream a whole dream, can you?”

Story: Paul (Mr. Hunham to his students) is a gleeful curmudgeon who lives for the takedown. Especially when that involves the wealthy, overprivileged snots in his Ancient Civilization classes. But when he gets saddled with holiday break duties in the winter of 1970 (see: gleeful curmudgeon for reasons), he learns a deep lesson in humility, humanity, and hope from Angus, a student in his care, and Mary, the kitchen manager who’s also staying through the holidays. Maybe. Sorta. Mostly, he’s still a douche.

Genre I’d put it in: Films That Completely Nail The Retro Vibe
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Inspired by Marcel Pagnol’s Merlusse, and a TV pilot idea by Holdover‘s screenwriter David Hemingson.

Gotta say: I’ve been drooling over this film ever since I saw the gloriously retro look of the teaser trailer. Director Alexander Payne has said “We were very fully making a ’70s movie,” and the obvious love of the craft shows in this film. From the tics and bumps of the film stock, to the grainy focus of each frame, to the cool, dull look of each shot, it’s a master class in not only re-creating the look of 1970s cinema, Holdovers feels like a film born too late to join its compatriots. Luckily with streaming, it’s got a chance to share space with those that have gone before. Plus, it’s officially a Christmas film. Ho ho ho, y’all!

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“The Marvels” is kitten-tastic!

Posted on November 8, 2023 by Denise

“New rule – no more touching shit! Especially mysterious glowing shit!”

Story: In a galaxy far far away from Kamala Khan, Kree leader Dar-Benn finds the second Quantum Band, and decides to use it to save her home planet of Hala. Y’know, by stealing every bit of certain resources from other planets. Meanwhile Captain Marvel, Monica Rambeau and Kamala are living their lives, until shiny purple glows cause their lives to tangle…in more ways than one. And Goose? Goose exists. And she is magnificent.

Genre I’d put it in: Successful MCU Films
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Part of the MCU. I mean, DUH.

Gotta say: I’m a simple girl, with simple needs. Just give me shiny things, lotsa action, and kittens. I’ll be happy as a cat in a litterbox. And y’all? Marvels hit the spot in that regard. In fact, Marvels is one of the best MCU films to come around this year, second only to the glorious Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. At less than two hours – a remarkable feat of restraint for the MCU – this film delivers fun, feels, and fantasy. A movie-win trifecta, y’all. Is it kinda fluffy, with an emphasis on action and kittens? Sure. But it’s also a welcome break from too many self-serious MCU offerings that treat comedy as a weapon of subjugation. And I for one welcome our trio of lady-bosses. Well, quartet, if we’re counting Goose. And y’all, we always count Goose.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “The Holdovers”!

Posted on November 3, 2023 by Denise

Been looking forward to this one! That groovy 70s retro look of the trailer is just awesome. I need more… Synopsis!

From acclaimed director Alexander Payne, THE HOLDOVERS follows a curmudgeonly instructor (Paul Giamatti) at a New England prep school who is forced to remain on campus during the holiday break to babysit a handful of students with nowhere to go. Eventually, he forms an unlikely bond with one of them – a damaged brainy troublemaker (newcomer Dominic Sessa) – and with the school’s head cook, who has just lost a son in Vietnam (Da’Vine Joy Randolph).

Ready? Let’s go!

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza – “Next Goal Wins”!

Posted on November 2, 2023 by Denise

Ready for some heartwarming fun? Synopsis!

Directed by Academy Award Winner Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit, Thor: Ragnarok) and based on a true story, NEXT GOAL WINS follows the American Samoa soccer team, infamous for their brutal 31-0 FIFA loss in 2001. With the World Cup Qualifiers approaching, the team hires down-on-his-luck, maverick coach Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) hoping he will turn the world’s worst soccer team around in this heartfelt underdog comedy

Ready? Let’s go!

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#31in31 – “Sissy”

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Denise

“I am loved. I am special. I am enough. I am doing my best. We all are.”

Story: Cecilia used to be the odd duck in primary school, but has blossomed into a popular self-help influencer on her channel Sincerely Cecilia. But when a hen weekend for Cecilia’s school BFF Emma brings together many of her former schoolmates? Cecilia’s school nemesis Alex is also invited, turning the weekend into a hell-scape for poor Sissy Cecilia. CECILIA, DAMMIT.

Scares: Equal parts suspense and horror
Splat Factor: A character or two completely loses it, so yeah there’s messy moments

Subgenre: Bloody Hilarious Revenge-ish Horror
Year Released: 2022
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: HAPPY HALLOWEEN, my sweet Secret Squirrels! I figured I’d end this re-boot of #31in31 with a bang, and let y’all know about a horror movie that came out last year, but hasn’t gotten nearly enough love. This is comfort food for those of us who adore payback’s-a-bitch stories, suffused with camp and dark humor. Sissy is a fantastic blend of satire and horror for the social media era. Just maybe don’t watch it with your friends, unless y’all are really, truly down.

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#31in31 – “The Ones You Didn’t Burn”

Posted on October 30, 2023 by Denise

“There’s something you need to know, and I don’t have much time. Our family killed them. And they never forgot.”

Story: After their dad’s suicide, siblings Nathan and Mirra return to their family homestead. But as they prepare to sell the family land, their family’s centuries-old ownership comes into question, as a group of women who work the siblings’ land say that their coven family owned it first…

Scares: Zero.
Splat Factor: Zero.

Subgenre: Family Legacy Horrors
Year Released: 2023 (Release) 2022 (film fest circuit)
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Burn is a brief, befuddling mess I wanted to love, but only kinda appreciated. The themes of appropriation, colonizer privilege, “feminine” (caring for the land) vs “masculine” (Manifest Destiny) are powerful ones, and I wish this seventy minute movie had been longer. These subjects could have been an extremely powerful, creepy look at ancestral entitlement and the power of the land. Instead, it’s a quaint, quiet piece that enters and exits much too quickly.

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