Story: Don’t be scared of a sonambulist. Be scared of the person who controls him.

Scares: Plenty of creepy goodness even though this film is almost 100 years old.

Splat Factor: In 1920? Fat chance. And it’s not needed.

Shock Ending?: In 1920? Okay fine; The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is credited with “inventing” the shock ending. And it’s a pretty darn good one. Shame that endings with a twist have sunk so low lately.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: This is one of the first horror movies ever made. Needless to say, it’s an original. But Ima say it anyway.

Trick or Treat?: A silent movie for my final 31 in 31 pick this year? Hells to the yeah. Because if you haven’t seen this, you need to. It’s fucking brilliant.

The Netflix version has craptastic “mod” cards instead of the usual black and white Art Deco style. These new cards jolted me out of the vibe every time, and whoever decided they were a good idea should be flogged until I feel better. (The transfer isn’t so great either, but with a film this old I’ll let it slide.) There are better, crisper versions out there – I have a DVD version that’s better – but hey, Netflix streaming.

Caligari works on all levels. Horror, fantasy, thriller, stoner movie (or at least I like to think so; I’d bet any toker would freak the fuck out with the crazy-but-awesome-even-today set design and hollowed-out eyes of poor Cesare.)

But by far my favorite reason to watch this film is to sit back in wonderment as this Century-ahead- of- it’s- time film plays out. It’s brilliant. The amazing minimalist sets that manage to amaze and shock even today, the actors that required no dialogue to get their point across, the use of shadows and angles that are so wonderfully staged that directors and cinematographers are still trying to rip ’em off…. Well, you get the picture.

Happy Halloween – now get out there and get your creepy on!

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

Story: The historic but run down Yankee Pedlar Inn B&B is going out of business. Is it haunted? The final two employees wanna find out… documenting ghosts could be a way to pad their unemployment checks. Hey, what else are two twenty-somethings gonna do in a building full of bedrooms?

Scares: several Gotcha moments, a great solo paranormal session, but for most of the film it’s more story than shocks.

Splat Factor: This is more The Woman In Black than Black Christmas.

Shock Ending?: Nup. Not for a ghost story, anyway.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: All new ghost story.

Trick or Treat?: Ever had a candy whose wrapper promises one thing, but delivers another? Same kinda thing. The poster for The Innkeepers looks positively Fright Night-esque, but for about 90% of the film it’s two hipster-lite kids wandering around a large B&B, killing time.

Honest performances by the two leads that feel genuine instead of created solely to move the plot give this an art-house rather than B-grade vibe. And hey, Kelly McGillis! Fun bit of carnival freak show climax, but at the end it’s the usual stupid decisions that’ll only frighten the lightweights. However, after the whipsmart characterization earlier in the film? It just pissed me off.

Cool as hell tidbit: this movie was filmed at the real Yankee Pedlar Inn, which is still open for business. I know, right? Very cool.

Plus, you get real words of wisdom. “Never skimp on the bread. You always regret it.” So true y’all.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

(Note: getting a late start today because of the Frankenstorm. I figured a Frankenstein film fit the mood of the day better than what I had chosen earlier….)

Story: a new Baron Von Frankenstein comes home to the ol’ castle from the US of A. Wanna guess what happens next lightning storm?

Scares: Strictly old school chills. Nowadays the old Universal films are more for warm nostalgia than real terror. But the way the douchebag townspeople treat the new Baron when they first meet? Now that’s scary.

Splat Factor: In a film from 1939? Not at all.

Shock Ending?: What Splat Factor said.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: A follow up to the excellent one-two punch of the original Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein.

Trick or Treat?: Think of this film as a 3 Musketeers among Snickers and Milky Way; not as good as the other two, but a whole mess of fun nonetheless. There’s plenty to love in this third installment, not the least of which is the fine stable of actors. Basil Rathbone, Bela Lugosi. Oh yeah, and there’s a little someone by the name of Boris Karloff as Frankenstein’s monster. Ahhhh, that’s the good stuff.

The late-1930s fashions are always fun to see (that’s one of my favorite fashion eras), and the set design is familiar, complete with the Strickfaden machines that make Frankie films so much fun. Little Peter Frankenstein is absolutely adorable, even though he reminds me of Honey Boo-boo now. Goddamn reality television.

Bonus – the one-armed Inspector Krogh (played by Lionel Atwill) is the template for Young Frankenstein‘s Inspector Kemp and Doctor Strangelove‘s good Doctor (all apologies to Metropolis, but this is the film I think of when I see Strangelove, not Lang’s.)

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

Story: Mild mannered teacher Johnny loves Sarah. Johnny gets in a car crash that puts him in a coma for years. He wakes up, only to find that he’s lost Sarah…but gained the ability to see the past, present or future of those he touches.

Scares: This film is directed by David Cronenberg & based on a Stephen King novel, but this is a slow burn meditation on life and the horror of our inner lives, not a blow-your-pants-off scarefest.

Splat Factor: See above.

Shock Ending?: This film keeps you at the edge of your seat at the end, but there’s no sudden surprises. The story doesn’t need ’em.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on Steve-o’s bestselling book, this is the movie version. A TV series came after.

Trick or Treat?: A horror movie that isn’t full of terror. Am I nuts? Well yeah, but there are other reasons for that. But The Dead Zone is one of the greats, a film that looks at what lurks behind the surface of day-to-day life and finds the ugly truth behind the eyes of people you’re supposed to trust. And there’s a believable, but bittersweet, love story too.

Brilliant performances by Christopher Walken, Brooke Adams as Johnny & Sarah, and Martin Sheen (playing against type as a smooth operator running for president who is really a nutjob), this is a thinking person’s horror movie. David Cronenberg surprised the hell out of folks by delivering a masterpiece of understated horror, back when Rabid, Scanners The Brood and Videodrome were his calling cards.

That this film holds up after almost 30 years is a testament to the work of all involved…and it’s also a different kind of terror with today’s climate of political extremism.

Fit this one in for Halloween, or watch this November 6th. Either way you’ll get chills.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.