“Me? I don’t wear underwear. I’m not modest.”
Story: Twenty-something Tim is told his estranged father Harry died under mysterious circumstances. When he heads to Ryme City, a place where Pokémon and humans live in harmony, Tim is told his father may still be alive… And hey, what’s that rustle in his dad’s apartment? “Pika Pika!”
Genre I’d put it in: Fun And Serviceable Game Adaptations
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the Pokémon game/film/everything franchise. Continue reading
“So this is Shining Canyon? What a dump.”
Jason Stratham! With hair! Ice Cube! Natasha Henstridge! Greg Nicotero and KNB FX! This should have been an incredible genre film, so what happened? Well, it became a cult classic for many genre fans, and even though it’s messy and misses the mark at almost every turn, I can’t help but enjoy the hell out of the crazy fever-dream of a film.
With it’s blend of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Hills Have Eyes by way of Mad Max and David Cronenburg, and Carpenter’s own The Thing Carpenter completists need to check this one out. Mars is a cool little B-Movie with plenty of mayhem and action to enjoy even if the plot feels unformed and unfocused. Continue reading
Sure, that title is a mouthful. But MOAR WICK! Synopsis!
In this third installment of the adrenaline-fueled action franchise, super-assassin John Wick (Keanu Reeves) returns with a $14 million price tag on his head and an army of bounty-hunting killers on his trail. After killing a member of the shadowy international assassin’s guild, the High Table, John Wick is excommunicado, but the world’s most ruthless hit men and women await his every turn.
Ready? Let’s go!
Gotta love those “crazy animalz help me pleeez” horror movies. From Night of the Lepus to Day of the Animals, Lake Placid, Piranha, and let’s not forget the mack daddy, Jaws. They all have a certain 1950s monster movie vibe that’s always a good time. But Crawl looks to belly up to the bar, and gotta say I’m here for it. Synopsis!
When a massive hurricane hits her Florida hometown, Haley (Kaya Scodelario) ignores evacuation orders to search for her missing father (Barry Pepper). Finding him gravely injured in the crawl space of their family home, the two become trapped by quickly encroaching floodwaters. As time runs out to escape the strengthening storm, Haley and her father discover that the rising water level is the least of their fears. From director Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes) and producers Craig Flores (300), Sam Raimi (Don’t Breathe, Evil Dead) and Alexandre Aja, Crawl is a nail-biting horror thriller in theatres July 12, 2019.
Gators and a natural disaster? Sign me up!
Ready to cheer? Because I’ve got passes for the B’more screening of Poms! Synopsis!
POMS is an uplifting comedy about Martha (played by Diane Keaton) a woman who moves into a retirement community and starts a cheerleading squad with her fellow residents, Sheryl (Jacki Weaver), Olive (Pam Grier) and Alice (Rhea Perlman), proving that it’s never too late to follow your dreams.
This looks way too fun…but I’m willing to take a chance on fun overload. Are you? Let’s go!
“THIS IS THE NEWS!”
Story: Fred Flarsky wants to be a stick-it-to-the-man journalist. But when his indie paper gets bought out by the big boys, he quits…just in time to run into his former babysitter, Charlotte Field. Secretary of State Charlotte Field. Running for President Charlotte Field. She needs a speechwriter. This seems like a good fit. Cue hijinks!
Genre I’d put it in: Fun, Irreverent Romantic Comedies
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Totally based on real life. Sike! It’s an original. (But I wish this was really happening.)
Gotta say: Be you GOP, Democrat or something else entirely, it’s safe to say that we all have problems with politics. Nobody feels like every single bit of our political climate is a-okay at all times. And that’s what makes us such a crazy, wonderful (but yeah mostly crazy) country. Long Shot looks at the process of running for office, throws in an unlikely romance, and asks they question; but what if we had someone really cool and really competent? How’d that work? I don’t know about real life, but in Shot it works great.
As the unlikely (but made for each other) pair, Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen are obviously having a blast in their roles. Theron gets to flex her comedic skills playing the straight man to Rogen’s unfettered wild child, and these two have an onscreen chemistry that’s off the charts. Yeah I said it. And yeah I’m happily surprised. But these two really tear up the material in the very best way. To dad-pun it, they don’t make this romance feel like a long shot. *rimshot* While Field plays straitlaced, she loves letting loose, and though Fred is a major fuck-up, he has genuine talent with the written word and an ability to get to the heart of what Field is desperately trying to get across to the public.
Director Jonathan Levine takes his time building up the attraction between the two, and the screenplay by Dan Sterling and Liz Hannah allows for the ups-and-downs that any couple would go through. But y’know, with Embassies and spies instead of what to watch on Netflix or Thanksgiving family drama. That they end up together – oh c’mon now, like there’s any doubt – feels true, even though they seem like opposites. Kudos to the creators for the slow romantic build that lets us see how each compliments the other, and for making us believe it.
While a good 90% of this film is hilarious banter and/or crazy situations, there are moments of realness that let Theron do her dramatic thing. Field, disenchanted by the deals she has to make while trying to pass an environmental bill, questions her life. “I don’t wanna do this anymore…it all gets undone.” And the casual misogyny of politics (and digging into female public figures’ private lives) is brought up as well. These bits are breathers in-between all the funtime, but they’re definitely relevant to our real world.
Does this film take a few pot shots at current events? Abso-freakin’-lootely. There’s “Wemsley News”, a thinly veiled Fox riff that dials the real channel’s worldview up to 11 then breaks the knob off. And Alexander Skarsgård plays a too-hot-for-words Canadian Prime Minister…but let’s just say he’s not as smooth as Trudeau presents himself. More comedic roles for Mr. Skarsgård, please and thank you! Let’s just say that you’ll have to dial believability way down to truly enjoy this film. Don’t think about what would really happen, just go with what’s happening on screen and enjoy the moment. I would, however, absolutely love someone whose campaign slogan is some form or “Field Day Noize”. Get on that, 2020 hopefuls!
One last thing. This is a film with Seth Rogen, so Seth plays Seth. Expect lots of drug references – “Drugs love a Jew!” – and absolutely cringe-worthy embarrassing moments for poor Fred. One of which harks back to films like There’s Something About Mary and American Pie. So get in your favorite crazytown headspace and let it roll. Also, be aware you’ll probably want to dance in your seat thanks to the fantastic 80s/90s soundtrack that includes Boyz II Men, Roxette, and Bruce Springsteen. I say go for it; anyone who calls you out can answer to me.
So go see Long Shot. Have a great time. And if you’re like me, hope that we get someone at least half as cool and competent someday.
Grade: A-
#Protip: Keep an eye out for one of my favorite TV comedic actors, Randall Park (Fresh off the Boat); he plays Fred’s soon-to-be former boss at the beginning of the film. Man, I can’t wait for Always Be My Maybe…hmm. Shot could be a great double feature with this upcoming film. *ponders*
Where my fellow ‘Go-ers at? Because I’ve got passes for Detective Pikachu! Synopsis!
Ryan Reynolds stars in the first-ever live-action Pokémon adventure as Pikachu, the iconic face of the global Pokémon phenomenon—one of the world’s most popular, multi-generation entertainment properties and the most successful media franchise of all time. The story begins when ace detective Harry Goodman goes mysteriously missing, prompting his 21-year-old son Tim (Justice Smith) to find out what happened. Aiding in the investigation is Harry’s former Pokémon partner, Detective Pikachu (Ryan Reynolds): a hilariously wise-cracking, adorable super-sleuth who is a puzzlement even to himself. Finding that they are uniquely equipped to work together, as Tim is the only human who can talk with Pikachu, they join forces on a thrilling adventure to unravel the tangled mystery. Chasing clues together through the neon-lit streets of Ryme City—a sprawling, modern metropolis where humans and Pokémon live side by side in a hyper-realistic live-action world—they encounter a diverse cast of Pokémon characters and uncover a shocking plot that could destroy this peaceful co-existence and threaten the whole Pokémon universe.
Ready? Let’s go!
Hi there y’all! What’s new? Have your emotions gone everywhere thanks to Endgame and last night’s Game of Thrones episode? Well I’ve got something that I hope’ll make you feel better; passes for Tolkien! Synopsis!
TOLKIEN explores the formative years of the orphaned author as he finds friendship, love and artistic inspiration among a group of fellow outcasts at school. This takes him into the outbreak of World War I, which threatens to tear the “fellowship” apart. All of these experiences would inspire Tolkien to write his famous Middle-Earth novels.
Not gonna lie, I’m genuinely stoked to see this one. You too? Let’s go!
“Oh. This is nice.”
This movie is long. This movie feels long. And it’s 100% worth it.
Expect ALL THE MEMES from this one. In-between moments of real emotional heft, the jokes come fast and furious. I’m sure a lot of folks will be joking about [REDACTED] and [CENSORED], not to mention the moment when [CUT FOR SPOILERS] . Okay, just trust me. Screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely do an incredible job blending emotional punches, from knee-slapping humor to shut-up-you’re-tearing-up, and everything in-between.
“Hi, Mom.”
Story: It hasn’t rained for eight years, making water the world’s most prized resource. In this dried-out landscape, Ruth has been on the run and battling addiction, but decides to head home when the world becomes too much for her. But there are those out there who’d like to find her, and let’s just say there’s not goodwill in their hearts. Because Ruth has abilities. So does her mother and young daughter. Can these three stay safe? Better yet, can they reconnect?
Genre I’d put it in: Deep And Worthwhile Sci-Fi
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original. Continue reading
Got a dollar to spare? A quarter?
Atomic Fangirl 