Atomic Fangirl

“We let the police handle it, we’ll all gonna end up end up 50% off.”

Story: Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts. How freakin’ American can you get? Well, this year, more than turkey is gonna get carved, thanks to a crazed killer stalking folks in the town. Is there any relation to the horrible Black Friday stampede that killed two people last year? Well, if you’re up on your 80s slasher history, the answer is YES DUH.

Scares: Lots of suspense
Splat Factor: All of it. Did I mention it’s written and directed by Eli Roth?

Subgenre: Gory Holiday Slashers
Year Released: 2023
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the “teaser trailer” in 2007’s Grindhouse.

Trick or Treat?: Ready for our next holiday, y’all? I figured I’d gear up by using this last 31in31 for jumping into November craziness. I was lucky enough to see 2007’s Grindhouse in a historic theater. Yep, it had a balcony and everything, and yes I sat in the front row of the balcony with my feet propped up on the wall/railing. (I miss you, Uptown. You were the best.) Grindhouse‘s mix of tongue-in-cheek harkbacks to old grindhouse films, drive-in double features, and of course the crazypants trailers in-between features is still one of my all-time favorite movie experiences. So when Eli Roth decided he’d take the trailer he’d made for Grindhouse and make it into a feature film? I was on board. And boy howdy does this film deliver the goods. Thanksgiving is everything you think it’ll be, and more. I say that as high praise.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Story: A group of friends get together the weekend before one of them is going to get married. They haven’t seen each other in eight years, but things seem to start up exactly where they left off…including a bunch of resentment, crushes, and the like. But when an estranged friend shows up with a high-tech game that feels like a much deeper form of Werewolf, things really start to crumble. Literally and figuratively.

Scares: None.
Splat Factor: Dead bodies impaled on iron fence spikes.

Subgenre:
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. And pointless.

Trick or Treat?: What if The Big Chill was filled with characters that are unlikeable jerks? Or, how about if Bodies Bodies Bodies was full of characters you didn’t care about? Welcome to Inside, where you get both. I’m gonna say what I say about Borat: I understand what they tried to do here. I get it, really I do. I just don’t think it’s any good.

“Summer camp with drugs!”

Story: A bunch of young adults decide to make 2k of easy money by being prescription drug test subjects. But the drug has strange side effects, the company is rushing to put it out, and someone doesn’t want this drug to succeed. Sound good? SUCKER.

Scares: A few at the start, until the plot gets so convoluted nothing makes sense.
Splat Factor: Some blood on walls, people dying

Subgenre: Drug Trial Nightmares
Year Released: 2016
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but stupid.

Trick or Treat?: This movie had me at William Mapother. That dude is a character actor I’ll watch in the any genre film. But his emotionless researcher Dr. Jerrems in Die can’t save this artless clunker.

“Why do all the weird ones have to fly at night?”

Story: Richard Dees, a tabloid “journalist” who seems out to be the poster boy for disgusting paparazzi, wants to get back on the front page of the rag he works for. Lucky for Dees, seems there’s been a string of gruesome murders at small airports. The victims were drained of blood, and the suspect is a pilot that goes by Dwight Renfield. Unlucky for Dees, his plan to meet this killer might succeed.

Scares: Not many, just standard nineties cable stuff.
Splat Factor:  heads almost “ripped clean off”, various people in various stages of dead-itude, lots of the red stuff.

Subgenre: Stephen King TV Adaptations
Year Released: 1997
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the Stephen King story of the same name.

Trick or Treat?: I have no idea why Flier isn’t on more people’s Stephen King movie lists. Okay sure; HBO/MAX/whatever pulled it from their original programming lineup years ago, and it hasn’t been released on Blu-ray yet. But it’s one to check out, and not just for the King completists.

“The house tried to kill me. It almost succeeded.”

Story: In 1953, a group of scientists and psychics investigated the Belasco House. Called the “Mount Everest of haunted houses”, only one person in that group escaped “alive and sane.” So now of course, someone wants to gather a group together. A group of four. Y’all, why not fifty? Safety in numbers and all that. Well, too late now; they’re stuck there for the next four days. I’m sure they’ll be fine.

Scares: Lots of eerie Gothic visuals, and ghostly behavior.
Splat Factor: People get attacked and bleed. People get bloody and die. Or die and get bloody? Something like that.

Subgenre: Haunted House Modern-day Gothics
Year Released: 1973
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the book Hell House, by Richard Matheson

Trick or Treat?: Wanna know a good way to make sure your movie adaptation hits all the right notes? Have the author write your screenplay. Okay fine, that doesn’t always work. But with House, it does. Like walking through a Halloween haunted attraction, Hell gives good fun, enjoyable frights, and plenty of creepy stuff to check out. It’s rather by-the-numbers, but it’s a spooky good time.