Movie Review: The Cabin in the Woods

Posted on April 13, 2012 by Denise

I have a love/hate relationship with Joss Whedon.  On the one hand, there’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, and Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.  On the other, Dollhouse (sorry, never did get into it), the fun but mostly messy “Buffy Season 8” graphic series, and YOU KILLED FRED YOU BASTARD.  (Though Whedon’s re-vamp of Much Ado About Nothing, with Amy Ackers as Beatrice, could go a long way towards forgiveness.  Kinda.)  When Joss said he was going to “attempt to revitalize the horror film which…had ‘devolved’ with the introduction of ‘torture porn'”, I got excited.  Because I cannot stand pointless horror films that amount to nothing more than an over-glorification of senseless death.  Gory slashers, fine.  But don’t crap on my parade with a shocking ending that is no longer shocking, and that adds insult to injury by leaving the door open for an even crappier sequel.  Although The Cabin in the Woods starts off as a deliciously creepy surprise, it sputters out and ends with a weak-willed bang that’s more okey-dokey than awesome.  This is a film that has too many good ideas, and loses itself in the weight of it’s own excess.

Must. Not. Let. Cat. Out. Of. Bag.

It’s difficult to discuss this movie without spoiling the heavily hyped “game changing” plot points.  So let’s just cut to the chase, shall we?  The Cabin In The Woods is a Whedonphile’s dream come true.  It’s got everything his acolytes want; actors from his TV shows, snarky dialogue and constant snide nudge-nudges at genre clichés.  Though it was fun to watch, it wasn’t the satisfying concoction I’d been hoping for.  Viewers who haven’t memorized all the episodes of BtVS and Angel may think this stuff is a revelation, but halfway in, The Cabin in the Woods feels like Joss’ Greatest Hits playing at a multiplex near you.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but nothing truly new either.

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Review-a-palooza — my latest raves & pans

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Denise

Here’s my latest bunch of reviews, some from weeks ago.  Yes, that’s because I thought I posted ’em but in fact I didn’t.  My bad.

As always, clicky on the links to read the full reviews!

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

24 go in.  1 comes out.  The Hunger Games is a harsh look at an even harsher post-apocalyptic world where the winner of a civil war uses the lives of children from the losing areas as a yearly reminder that the losers have truly lost everything.  Throwing children into a pit to fight it out may seem a harsh topic for Young Adult Fiction — and it is — but it’s a topic that has caused the Hunger Games trilogy (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay) to skyrocket up the bestseller charts.  Fans of all ages love the book, so it’s only natural that there would be a movie in the works.  And now the first book of the series gets it’s close-up with The Hunger Games.

I won’t lie; I’m an unabashed fan of the books.  I read them all in one weekend, the benefit of being late to the party, and I have my ship all ready (Team Peeta!), my nails painted for “my District” (Agro, for 11!), and my favorite secondary characters (Rue!  Cinna!  Caesar!  Finnick!  Oops, jumping ahead a bit….)

This movie is good; real or not real?  Most definitely real.

Movie Review: John Carter

Oh Pixar.  How I love the things you’ve done.  Especially the films Monsters, Inc. and Wall*E.  Director Andrew Stanton rocked the house, y’all.  Now there’s Stanton’s first live-action film, John Carter, done while on loan to Disney studios.  Um.  When does he get back to Pixar?

John Carter is an intriguing story based on a series of books that were written almost 100 years ago.  This movie has a whole lot going on.  Pity all that action is so dreadfully dull.  I felt like I was watching the movie through plexiglass, as if a beautiful tale was unfolding in front of me that I couldn’t touch.  The start of a series?  Prolly not.

Movie Review: Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Salmon fishing.  Yemen.  Seriously?

Yep.  And if you’ve turned your nose up at the title figuring it’s most likely the dullest documentary ever filmed, you’ll be missing out.  Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a wonderful feel good film, a fascinating indie flick that also happens to have one of the sweetest old-school romances I’ve seen in ages.

Sheikh Muhammed is in love with fly fishing.  Does it every time he heads up to Scotland.  But he has a dream; to have a salmon stream in his homeland.  So he asks his consultant Harriet to find out if that could be a reality, and when the fisheries expert Dr. Alfred Jones tosses out a financial outlay that seems impossible, things start to snowball.  Because the Sheikh isn’t about to let a thing like money get in the way of his passion.

Movie Review: Footnote (Hearat Shulayim)

Boy meets Talmud.  Boy falls for Talmud and devotes his whole life to it’s study.  But all he gets by way of recognition is a small footnote in someone else’s book…while his son goes on to greatness with his own research.  In Footnote, the different ways these scholars research only serves to illustrate the gulf between them.  This film is more a character study than a look inside the politics of the Israel Prize, but the seamless way director/writer Joseph Cedar blends the two creates a film that is a simple, but fascinating,  success.

Movie Review: Wrath of the Titans

It’s been two years since Legendary Pictures’ remake of Clash of the Titans.  And it’s taken me  about two years for me to have the taste of suck finally rinse out of my mouth.  Legendary  takes a swing at a sequel with Wrath of the Titans…and well, it’s better than the first film.

Perseus, having given up the option to live with his father Zeus as an immortal in Olympus, is now a fisherman with young son Helius (which is actually the name of the Sun God in Roman mythology, but whatever).  Zeus pops in for a visit, as Greek gods often do, and lets Perseus know that the Gods will soon be no more, thanks to a lack of prayer and belief from humans.  Hey, you screw enough married chicks and you’ll start to get dissed, Zeus.  Only a matter of time.

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Pull! — three new graphic novel reviews

Posted on April 1, 2012 by Denise

I was planning on getting this up last week, so I could have a March Pull.  Oopsie.  Anyway, on with the show….

The Walking Dead Vol. 7: The Calm Before

It’s a lovely story, except for the whole “may be eaten by zombies at any time” thing. The prison has been a haven for Rick’s group for awhile now, and as the months go by things are slowly getting better. The threat of the Governor looms large, but with days upon days of nothing, how vigilant can they stay? Kirkman does an excellent job of moving through time in this volume, showing how the characters progress. But this title shouldn’t fool readers into thinking all is well. There’s a storm brewing, and before the last page is turned our little group will be up to their necks in it. Good to see that this series can go an entire volume with little to no “real” action and yet still be engrossing.

28 Days Later Volume 4: Gangwar

Selena has been hacking and slashing her way to London in this series, dragging the two surviving members of the journalistic team with her. In Gangwar, we get to see that all monsters in the U.K. aren’t necessarily infected. The King in this volume isn’t as nauseatingly disgusting as The Governor in The Walking Dead, but he ain’t no creampuff either. Writer Michael Alan Nelson delivers a heart-stopping volume with plenty of surprises and a few shocks. But Selena is still the badass mo-fo she’s always been. Am I the only one wishing she and Michonne from TWD could meet? That would be some good stuff.

Onward Towards Our Noble Deaths

A masterwork. The story of a doomed Japanese battalion – the members of which had already been declared dead so were forced to fight until that was true – is a harsh, unflinching look at war. Shigeru Mizuki, perhaps best known in the USA as the creator of Kitaro, lets nothing fall to the wayside, from starving troops and abusive officers, to “pleasure women” and malaria, to an officer singing about his junk. There’s nothing too sordid for this story, and it’s a richer experience for it. Published in 1973, it’s still relevant today. Perhaps even more so, since the pointless war in Vietnam taught the powers that be nothing, so today’s armed forces have to repeat history. The viewpoint of the Japanese soldiers in WWII isn’t one we see that often in the States, but it’s no less heartbreaking.

Part of the reason this novel is so affecting is that this story is true. Well, according to the author it’s “90% true”. Mizuki was supposed to be a part of this battalion, but he was left behind because of illness. Pointless wasting of life is devastating, yet all too often it becomes just so many tiresome statistics on the evening news that nobody really watches anymore. Onward Towards Our Noble Deaths dulls the shine of war that so many movies have painted on it, giving readers a glimpse into the nasty business of killing people for…what, exactly?

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More images from The Raven!

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Denise

Edgar Allan Poe. Murder. Mayhem. Mwa-ha-ha! Okay, so I’m looking forward to The Raven. Yes, it shows a non-alcoholic Poe solving crimes, but that’s why I’m an alt-history fan.

When I got a load of these new stills from the film, I couldn’t choose. So I decided to pick ’em all. Enjoy!

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Trailer for Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 now up!

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Denise

So I’ve never been a huge fan of Twilight, the books. (Note: I’ve never gone past the first book, couldn’t take the craptastic editing. I hear they get better, so one day I’ll settle down & knock the rest out, for fairness.) But I gotta admit I enjoy the movies. Maybe I liked the first one because I giggled a lot at the uber-intensity of it all…and sure, anytime I see a werewolf I think, JORTS! (Thanks for that, Forever Young Adult. I love y’all more than champ cans. Well, you’re right up there, snuggled-like.)

But now that the final Twilight film is coming, time to get your sparkly vamp on. Or, if you’re like me, time to get plastered at the movies see Bella get all sparkly. And maybe even vicious? Since I’ve only gagged down one of the books, I have no idea. But I’m kinda hoping for a Volturi beatdown. No offense, Michael Sheen.

Peep the trailer:

Yaaay — blood red eyes! And maybe, just maybe, that ugly engagement ring is growing on me.

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 opens November 16th.

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My thoughts on Hunger Games, let me show you them.

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Denise

Okay, so I was one of the lucky buggers that got to a screening of The Hunger Games earlier this week.  And since I had to sign a “journalist agreement” to keep my damn trap shut before opening day, I waited.  Which for me is difficult because I am basically a tall 5 year old with really old-looking skin.  But…Happy Hunger Games, y’all!  Let’s get this party started!

But first, a warning: I WILL BE DISCUSSING THE FILM, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

Seriously.  Lots of ’em.  Tons.

Spoiler Alert.  Woot, woot, yada yada.

Really.  Don’t read if you haven’t seen the film and want to go in with a clean slate.

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Trailer – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Denise

Twisted history and classic lit mashups have been everywhere lately.  Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will be slouching toward theaters next year.  The Raven — with a sober ass-kicking Edgar Allan Poe — is winging in next month.  So it didn’t really surprise me when the most ludicrously titled twist I’d ever read became a film.  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?  Really?

But then I saw that it was being produced by Tim Burton (who already has his hands full right now with Dark Shadows), and I relaxed a little.  Now, with the new trailer, things area looking interesting.  Verrrry interesting.

Gotta admit the film itself is looking very slick, very polished. Though I’ll have to actually see how well they fit vampires into Lincoln’s history.

And if this gets good box office, can Android Karenina be far behind?


 

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Movie Review: 21 Jump Street

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Denise

“The Only Thing Getting Blown Tonight Is Their Cover”

“They’re Getting Too Old For This Shift”

If the tag lines on the posters don’t give it away, 21 Jump Street — based on the serious bubblegum series of the 80s — is taking a humorous look at the original source material, and amping things up for the 21st Century crowd.  And I’ll admit it had me laughing my ass off in the theater, press section or no press section.  I loved it, plain and simple.

21 Jump Street takes the basics of the tv show, and introduces a spin that makes this movie worth watching.  It takes the serious, hard-boiled coppers and replaces them with newly minted idiots that barely know how to hold their guns, let alone perform a successful sting operation. Officers Jenko (Channing Tatum) and Schmidt (Jonah Hill) are the two guys on the force you kinda guess ended up at the bottom of their graduating class.  Jenko, an idiot who can muscle his way around anything, and Schmidt, the brain that can’t back up his knowledge with action, are old high-school classmates who never ran in the same circles.  Ever.  But they bond at basic training, each one having what the other needs.  But when they get bounced out of bike patrol (thanks to a bust that they botch up so spectacularly I’m sure every cop in America wishes they could do the same thing at least once), they land in Jump Street, a group of “Justin Beaver, Miley Cirus lookin’ muthas.”  As they try to figure out how to stop the spread of a new drug that has hit the scene, both officers have to play out their high school problems.  Things are different now than they were when these two were in high school, and their roles quickly get reversed in this new land of political correctness, earth awareness and nerd chic.
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From Geek for e: the Ghastly Awards are comin’!

Posted on March 2, 2012 by Denise

Horror comics get their due with the Ghastly Awards

As I’ve often said, I’m a complete and total horror junkie.  The first horror movie I remember seeing was Night of the Living Dead, thanks to a 2-year-old me waking up and wandering downstairs to the sound of my dad fixing the fireplace at 2am.  (Why 2am?  Your guess is as good as mine.)  I’ve been hooked ever since.

I got into comic books not because of the superheroes (not that they aren’t awesome), but because of the creepy-crawly horror issues I’d see every so often at my local bookstore.  Nowadays though, there are tons of good scare on the illustrated page.  So much so in fact , that there’s a new crop of awards to give them their good & proper.  The Ghastly Awards will reveal their first ever list of winners at the end of this month, and I’ve gotta say there are some really amazing professionals and titles getting the nod.  The Walking Dead!  The Goon (here’s hoping the movie gets a release)!  Locke & Key!  And my personal favorites, Crossed 3D &  I, Vampire!  Not to mention Robert Kirkman, Gabriel Rodriguez & Terry Moore!  Read on for a list of the 2011 nominees (and how, if you’re an industry pro, you can send a nomination for the 2012 awards)….

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Review-a-palooza: Act of Valor

Posted on March 2, 2012 by Denise

Not much with the screenings this past coupl’a weeks.  No worries; things will start gearing up soon.  Blockbuster season is pushed earlier and earlier coming soon!

Movie Review: Act of Valor

Ever wonder what it must be like to be a part of the United States Navy’s SEALs (Sea, Air, and Land Teams)?  Act of Valor gives you an up-close and personal look at their life, in what the filmmakers are calling “cinematic nonfiction”.  Like television shows such as Law & Order, CSI and Body of Proof, Act of Valor is based on real-life events.  But unlike those shows, this film showcases real-life, currently active-duty SEALs in the storyline, doing what they do best.  It’s a riveting film that kept this “thought I’d seen it all” action-genre fan on the edge of her seat.  Is it top-notch storytelling and grade A acting?  No, but if you’re expecting award-winning performances from non-actors you be trippin’.  What it is, is a whole lot of fun that left me with a warm fuzzy feeling about being Amuuuurican.  It also gave me even more respect for the men and women of today’s Armed Forces.  Hooyah!

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