I haz commercial!

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Denise

Photo: shamelessly nicked from runforyourlives.com

Okay, so this blog/posting place/thingy is supposed to be a dumping ground for the stuff I’ve written on the interwebs.

But.

I did a commercial.  More precisely, I was a zombie extra in a commercial for Run for your Lives, a 5K zombie race (yes, you read that right, stay with me here) that has now exploded all over the US of A.  And it was outrageously fun.

Commercial goodness:

Yeah, it’s super-fast, but it was on nationwide during the first episode of The Walking Dead, season two.  What do you expect, the full-length Thriller vid?

But wait, there’s more!  The folks did a making-of featurette.  It’s adorable.  Plus, I’m in there in a big way (check out the goober laughing her ass off as everyone walks toward the shoot) and so are a few of my zombie friends (shout out to Zombie Ke$ha & Awesome Zombie Shane!)

Aaaaaand back to hiding behind the written word. Thankskaybye.

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31 in 31: American Scary

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Denise

Story: Do you remember Creature Feature on Channel 20 on Saturday nights?  Or perhaps you have your another favorite horror host from back in the day (or right this very minute): American Scary is a look at those hosts and how the late-night horror shows started and what makes ’em so beloved.

Scares: Not so much.  This is more info on the loves of horror fan’s Saturday nights than spookytime.

Splat factor: Again, more info, less splat.

Closing scene “shocker”?: In a documentary?  Um, no.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: This documentary takes old snippets of horror hosts doing their thing, but it’s an original.

Trick or Treat?:  OMGOMGOMG — Count Gore De Vol from Channel 20!  I grew up with him!

You’ll always be my favorite creature, Count Gore De Vol.

From Vampira and Roland to Svengoolie and today’s Dr. Gangrene, American Scary checks out the fun fannishness of horror hosting.  Plus, fans of horror hosts tell you why they love ’em.  And you really want to listen, since these fans include Neil Gaiman, Tim Conway, Leonard Maltin and Tom Savini.

All you young whippersnappers, this is the reason the old gits love those creaky Black-N-White craptastic movies.  Because a horror host made you wanna watch even the stinkiest bomb of a Z-grade movie, because you wanted to know what he or she thought of what was going on onscreen.  Y’know, before Turner bought ’em all and cable tv sucked up local programming.  It’s not scary, sure.  But it’s a fun trip down memory lane for fans, and necessary bit of horror genre education for those who want to know what has gone on before.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Posted on October 17, 2011 by Denise

Story: Did you know that Jason, Michael Meyers, Freddy Kreuger and all sortsa rampant killing machines actually exist?  Somebody should make a documentary about how one goes about becoming a serial killer!  Only one problem; you might get a bit too close….

Scares: Just when you think this is all gag and no gotcha, things ramp up nicely.

Splat factor: Even though it’s the story of  how a serial killer gets his start, there’s surprisingly little blood.  But don’t worry, the deaths are effective.  Very.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not if you’ve been paying attention.  There’s a twist, and even though horror fans will know what that is, it’s a good time.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: This is something I never thought I’d say; it’s a wholly original concept in the slasher genre.

Trick or Treat?: It’s definitely a treat, of the “new stuff you’re not sure you’ll like” variety.  The movie keeps you guessing throughout, with quite a few effective switcharoos in storyline and tone.  Is this guy batshit crazy? Or is he really a killer come back from the dead for vengeance…that happens to like turtles as pets? The documentary filmmakers tag along in the first half of the film, kinda like Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Of death.  The real horror is watching the “filmmakers” do nothing. It’s like they don’t believe /are too caught up in their own shoot. Things start gettin’ freaky towards the end, when the mockumentary style switches to straight-up storytelling.  Think something like that would kill the mood?  No way.  This is a great little film that deserves much more notice than it’s currently getting.  Gotta say I’ve had this in my queue for a while now, and only watched it for something to review.  I’m really glad I got around to it.  A smart, well-acted horror movie that is tongue-in-cheek, scary and has cameos by a few beloved masters of the genre is a beautiful thing indeed.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Wolfen

Posted on October 16, 2011 by Denise

Story:  People are getting ripped apart in NYC. What’s going on? And what’s that strange howling?  Be careful upsetting the balance of things, kiddies. You never know what you may piss off.

Scares:  It gives good creep, and they wisely keep the Big Bad under wraps ’til the end.  Still, for full effect watch this one with the lights out.

Splat factor:  Lots of blood tossed around in the opening scene. Seriously, it flies through the air. Things tone down a bit after that, but not by much.  “I got a hand in a baggie.”  Yes, yes you do.  And it’s awesome.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope.  This one gets ya with the chills, not an end gimmick.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on “The Wolfen” by Whitley Strieber (now out of print, sadly).  This movie is it’s first and only time on film.

Trick or Treat?:  A little bit of everything, like a Halloween party goodie bag of goodness.  Albert Finney rockin a hep sweatband!  Gregory Hines rockin’ a cool dangle earring! Edward James Olmos rockin’…nothing!  (Hey, if you’ve always wanted to see Adama in the buff look no further.)  Groovy WOV (wolf-of-view) shots with a color negative filter!  And did I mention body parts a-flyin’?  Toss in positive messages about American Indians, and a word or three about how we’re fucking up the world with all this development (a rare message in the Greed Is Good 80s), and you’ve got a fun time.  Are the minority characters stereotypes? Yeah sorta, but the post-70s kind, when they were played as cooler-than-thou. I had a moment of silence when I saw the Twin Towers on screen — I’m still affected, I won’t lie — but outside of that jarring moment, it’s pure wolfy goodness.  I keep thinking about Cat People when I see this movie; that’s another one that keeps monsters down low while keeping the chills up high.  Think of Wolfen anytime you want a monster movie that is less about the were and more about the wolf.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

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From GeekForE: Movie Review — The Thing (2011)

Posted on October 15, 2011 by Denise

Prequels can be awesome (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) or a childhood-raping nightmare (Star Wars Episodes I-III).  Usually all you can hope for is something that makes you love the source material even more (X-Men: First Class, Mallrats), or lets you forget about that last crappy sequel (Fast Five).  The Thing, a prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 remake of 1951’s The Thing From Another World (all of which are based on the excellent short story “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell, Jr.) seems to have all the cards stacked against it.  But it rises above the slings and arrows of outrageous Hollywood overreaching and is instead a pleasant surprise; a movie that blends well with, and may even better, the one that came before.

Continue reading →

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From GeekForE: Movie Review — Footloose (2011)

Posted on October 15, 2011 by Denise

Okay, let’s get this straight right now; I liked this movie.  No seriously, I did.  Had a great time, laughed out loud, bounced in my seat.  And I’m not ashamed.  In a world where someone can come along, remake a movie that never needed to be remade…and actually do it justice?  Well then, there’s enough room for both films in that happy, shiny world.  Anybody thinking the director of Hustle and Flow would grab the wheel of this remake and cock it up has another thing coming.  A fun, bouncy, dance-y thing.

Read the rest at Geekfore.com!

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From GeekForE: Movie Review — The Big Year

Posted on October 15, 2011 by Denise

No, they didn’t make this up; The Big Year is based on the novel “The Big Year: A Tale of Man, Nature, and Fowl Obsession”, by Mark Obmascik.  Birders really do have something called The Big Year.  Or rather, there are several types of Big Year events throughout the world.  It’s one of the many, many things you get to learn about birding in this movie.  How there’s often a difference between birding and birdwatching is one.  That birders are probably cooler than you is another.  (They’ve probably been to more places and seen more things in one year than the average Joe Blow Couchsitter, that’s for sure.)  And btw, Attu Island, Alaska?  Kind of a big deal.  The Big Year pulls you into the world of birding, makes it look crazy, cool and amazing.  With this movie, it’s easy to see why people are drawn to it.

Read the rest at Geekfore.com!

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31 in 31: Jason X

Posted on October 15, 2011 by Denise

Story: Jason gets cryogenically frozen because nobody can kill him (dismemberment wasn’t an option I guess?)  Centuries later, “scientists” find him.  He thaws out, and hilarity ensues.  Nothing’s gonna slow our boy down.

Scares: Not a one, unless you’ve got a really, really, really low tolerance.  This is like watching someone playing a video game; see the killer, watch him pick everyone off.

Splat factor: Jason and…anything alive?  Yeah, you’ll get splatter.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not really.  Because anyone who has ever seen a Friday the 13th film knows there’ll be some sorta “hey, guess what?” moment at the end.  Meh.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: It’s #10 in the Friday the 13th franchise.  And it feels like it.  Shark?  Consider yourself jumped.

Trick or Treat?:  It’s a treat for folks who like that sort of stuff, like black licorice.  (Hey, that stuff is delicious.  No, you stop it.)  It’s a Kane Hodder Jason, so it’s not a total loss, and David Cronenberg makes a cameo at the start of the film as a douchebag doc.  With the space-ness, there’s fun nanotech FX along with the usual splatty goodness. Still, it’s not the smartest film of the series, and that’s saying a lot.  It’s a sad commentary on the world when silly white boys still rock the dreads in the 25th century.  Oh come ON. nanotech can fix Jason, but not the other dead? I call bullshit.  But then you pretty much know that going into these movies.  If you love Jason, you know what you’re gonna get.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Hatchet

Posted on October 14, 2011 by Denise

Story: Kane Hodder lives in the woods with his horribly disfigured son.  Son gets even more disfigured in a fire, goes crazy and kills Robert Englund and a bunch of stupid tourists, while Tony Todd stays safely in town.

Scares: Though there’s lots of humor here, there are a few scares too.

Splat factor: C’mon – the movie is called Hatchet; this ain’t no disco.  Almost silly and over-the-top, gore-wise, but considering they market this as a horror-comedy, that’s to be expected.  From the opening scene you’ve got dismemberment, body organs & blood. Things pick up from there. Enjoy!

Closing scene “shocker”?: Sigh.  Yeah.  There’s a sequel — the creatively titled Hatchet II — with two more sequels in the works.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  This is an original.

Trick or Treat?: A bag of mini-pretzels; I should have really liked it, but I wanted something a little bit different.  Probably because like Undead or Alive, this movie keeps the fact that it’s part comedy on the DL.  It has a promising start though.  In fact, it has a pretty good beginning, middle…but the end is the same-old, same-old.  I understand the quest for cashola, but seeing the same ending over and over starts to dull the senses.  But on the plus side, several horror icons get to have a good time in cameo spots, the cute geeky scientist from Avatar (and Bones) is the lead, and fellas, you get to see Harmony from Buffy the Vampire Slayer flash her boobies.  All the actors seem like they’re having a good time. There’s no ac-tor moments, but if you’re looking for serious acting in a movie called Hatchet, I have a bridge to sell you. Perfect for a gore lover that can’t handle the stress of suspense. Or anyone who wants to see a horror movie, but can’t take a full tilt scarefest.

Score:    out of 5 pumpkins. Can’t say I hated it, can’t say I liked it enough for a full pumpkin bump-up.

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31 in 31: South Park Halloween Spook-tacular!

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Denise

Story: Seven of South Park‘s scaaaaariest episodes, including “Pink Eye”, “Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery”, “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes” and “Night of the Living Homeless”

Scares: This is South Park.  If you really need to know the answer to this question, you’ve been living under a rock for the past 15 years or so.

Splat factor:  Again, it’s South Park.  Kenny dies over and over again, and with Halloween episodes there’s all sorts of cartoon gore.  Happy Tree Friends think it’s a bit over the top.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope.  Just good times and a bit of farting.  Okay, quite a bit of farting.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: These episodes were originally aired separately, and are gathered here for a Halloween funny fest.

Trick or Treat?:  A box of Oreo Halloween “Double Stufs”, they’re over the top, and going through all of ’em at once may be too much.  But you can’t stop yourself and you really don’t want to.  And really, you shouldn’t deprive yourself; this is a holiday treat for South Park fans, and anyone who wants a bit of out-there humor with phoney-baloney gore.  Killer fish, Satan in a “Hit Me Baby One More Time” costume, scary redheaded kids…and a life lesson in each episode.  So watching this is a positive thing that could open my mind?  Trey Parker and Matt Stone, you bastards!

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.

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