Tag Archives: Movies So Bad Creators Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves

“The Cure for Wellness” is a whole lot of bad crazy. With eels.

Nutshell: Bojan Bazelli’s beautiful cinematography and Eve Stewart’s picture-perfect production design are wasted in this derivative horror mishmosh.  Speaking of criminal wastes of talent, Celia Imrie, Dane DeHaaan and Jason Isaacs turn in wonderful performances that this film just doesn’t … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: Camp Death

“Realism? Fuck realism!” Story: A film crew tries to make a slasher film, but didn’t expect a real killer to crash the joint. Ooh – so scary! Scares: Zero. Lame concept, lame acting, lame blocking. Angles that leave the action … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: The Secrets of Emily Blair

“You wanna do good in this world? You gotta get your hands dirty.” Story: A nurse got kissed by some possessed dude.  Gotta hate when that happens.  Meanwhile, her fiance notices things aren’t quite right with his lady.  The trail … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: House of Fears

“My insurance doesn’t cover hormones.” Story: Zane gives his friends a tour of the HoF before it officially opens. But unbeknownst to him, his boss had an African statue delivered. That demon statue was opened, so all mediocre hell breaks … Continue reading

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“Warcraft” – disappointment in cinema form

Nutshell: Disappointment, thy name is Warcraft. Or, better put, thy name is Duncan Jones.  With a huge mythology to work with, and seemingly unlimited funds, to make a film that makes no sense, and fails to connect with viewers on … Continue reading

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Elsewhere Review: “Gods of Egypt” is a godawful, glorious mess

As always, clicky on the header for the original piece! “Gods of Egypt” is a godawful, glorious mess Nutshell: Can something be awful and amazing at the same time?  Well, Gods of Egypt is certainly giving it its best shot.  … Continue reading

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#31in31 – V/H/S: Viral (and my first ever negative film rating)

“WHAT THE FUCK???” Okay, this movie is such unmitigated garbage that I don’t want to spend any more time writing it up to fit the template. Let’s just do this: This pathetic anthology “film” has bad acting, horrible direction, and … Continue reading

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