Review-a-palooza: the last few thangs from Geek for e

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Denise


…because I’ve been slack & not updating here.  Hey, I’ve been (really lazy) taking a break (sleeping) after 31 in 31.  What can I say?  (Again, lazy.)

So…here’s a quick-n-dirty.  As always, clicky to read the full review over at Geek for e (not shilling for my new gig…okay, I am.)  Bon Movie-tit!

Movie Review: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Deck the halls with bowls of doobie…’Tis the season to be groovy.  And if you’re in the mood to pass up the frankincense and myrrh for something with a bit more kick, then A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is for you.  And because they love you, it’s coming out before Thanksgiving, so you can…relax a bit before the family gatherings.

Movie Review: The Skin I Live In

Take bits of Frankenstein and Fall of the House of Usher, add a touch of Pygmalion and…well, if I mention the fourth film that comes to mind I’d give away a major plot point of the movie.  Trust me that it’s an unusual, messed up concoction of obsession, desire and science that only Pedro Almodóvar could bring to the screen.  Based on the novel Mygale (also known as Tarantula) by Thierry Jonquet, The Skin I Live In takes you on a winding, dark road to a conclusion that is repulsive and fascinating.  This movie may not be for everyone — Almodóvar can be an acquired taste — but if you’re looking for a jaw-dropping experience, this is the ticket.  I only wish it had opened in time for Halloween, since it has a feel that’s tailor-made for that holiday.

Movie Review: Martha Marcy May Marlene

Martha Marcy May Marlene takes a look at a modern-day Manson family, and one girl’s attempt to break free.  But you can take the girl out of the cult, but you can’t take the cult out of her head, leading poor little M4 to increasingly outrageous acts of paranoia and terror.  But an overwhelming abundance of brilliant performances can’t make up for leaden, choppy storytelling and an ending that makes the final scene from The Sopranos seem like a tidy little package.

Movie Review — Anonymous

“To see Anonymous or not to see Anonymous: that is the question“…no.
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to speak about Anonymous“…and, no.
“Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by Anonymous“…oh God, no.

Oh bugger.  The course of true critique never did run smooth, and I’m no Shakespeare.  So let me just say, in my own words, that Anonymous is the official starting bell for the Oscar race this year.  It’s a wild and crazy, swords and swagger, love and lust look at how Shakespeare maybe-coulda-possibly come up with all those wonderful plays, sonnets and poems.  And the movie is wonderful itsownself; it’s as dazzling a story as anything Shakespeare could have come up with.  Huzzah!

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Psst: exclusive The Hunger Games sneak on GMA this Monday!

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Denise

Okay, so I’m totally psyched for The Hunger Games.  I saw the teaser poster at Baltimore Comic-Con and immediately put one up on my fridge.

Now we get more than just a taste…Good Morning America will have the world-premiere of the official trailer!

More info?  Sure!  Straight from the press release:

SANTA MONICA, CA (November 10, 2011) – LIONSGATE® (NYSE: LGF), a leading global entertainment company, today announced an exclusive partnership with ABC’s Good Morning America to world premiere the highly anticipated trailer for THE HUNGER GAMES.

The debut will be hosted in person by actor Josh Hutcherson (THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT), who plays the pivotal character of Peeta Mellark in the film, in the top rated 8:00 hour of the show on Monday, November 14th.  In addition to airing nationwide, the trailer will also be shown in its entirety on Good Morning America’s jumbotron in New York City’s Times Square.

The partnership, which further distinguishes the film as a major motion picture event, will mark the first time ever that audiences will be exposed to sights and sounds from the film such as Katniss’ home district 12 and the opulent Capitol.  With 16 million copies of The Hunger Games in circulation, a vast audience of book fans will also undoubtedly tune in for the first chance to hear the beloved characters speak iconic lines of dialogue from its pages.

A first look at District 12 and the Capitol?  Sign me up!

Set your DVR’s on record, y’all.  You’ll wanna watch this a few times, methinks.  Meanwhile, enjoy this slideshow of awesome The Hunger Games character posters!

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31 in 31 Extra: 1000 Ways to Die

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Denise

Just a little something for Día de los Muertos, and to celebrate the end of a fun-filled month of horror goodness.  How better to celebrate the dead than with a show that points ’em out?  Happy Day of the Dead, everyone!

Story: Darwinism at it’s finest, folks.  Seriously, how many people do stupid things when they’re drunk, horny or amped up on caffeine?  At least a thousand, that’s for damn sure.

Scares:  Um, none unless you’re on something.  Although the deaths are tragic, the people are idiots, and 1000 Ways To Die doesn’t shy away from that fact.  This show is more humor than horror.  Y’know, unless you’re really into stupid shit.  Then god bless, and I’ll see you on the next episode.

Splat Factor:  As the show says, “Warning: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted… YOU WILL DIE!” Plus, you have professionals, from doctors to truck drivers, telling you exactly how someone would die doing [Insert Idiotic Crap Here].  So splat?  Yeah, you betcha.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  This series is one-of-a-kind.  Thank you, SpikeTV.

Trick or Treat?:  You don’t think I’d wrap up this series for the year on some clunker, do you?  Oh hell no.  1000 Ways to Die is hilarious, it’s freaky and for some I’m betting it’s a wake-up call.  I can’t say what’s the stronger pull that keeps bringing me back to this series; the whacked-out deaths, or the professionals explaining them that always make me feel I’m learning something that I probably slept through in anatomy & phys.  Either way, I can’t stop watching.  Here’s to stupid people and alcohol…and the hope that you fine readers will never end up as one of their stories.  Now go nosh some Pan de Muertos and stay away from that drunk guy with the flamethrower!

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Halloween (1978)

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Denise

Story: Halloween.  The night HE came home.  And murdered a bunch of babysitters, boyfriends and y’know, everyone else hangin’ around.

Scares: A’plenty.  Even when you see ’em coming.

Splat factor:  Though this is called a slasher movie, it’s more what you think you see rather than what’s actually onscreen.  Well done.

Closing scene “shocker”?: A’yup.  Hey, he’s got sequels to get to!

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  The original, and the best.  (Though Halloween II is pretty chilling in it’s own right.)

Trick or Treat?:  Duh…treat!  Yayz!  So I took the easy way out of this month o’ horror?  Not really.  There are so many other movies I wanted to write up, but just didn’t have the time.  From crap (the student-film project throwaway Don’t Look in the Cellar, Paris Hilton in Nine Lives) to classic (Cat People, Night of the Demon) there’s so much out there to cheer and to throw rocks at.  But for my very first attempt at a 31 in 31 (awww Baby’s First 31) I’m gonna go with my favorite Halloween movie, Halloween.

Jamie Lee Curtis cements her status as horror movie queen bar none, Donald Pleasence as horror’s favorite Type-A psychiatrist, and Michael Meyers.  Plus, we all now know that William Shatner looks terrifying when he doesn’t brush his hair.  Halloween is the movie most folks think of when people mention the “rules of horror movies”: you drink, smoke, boink?  Buh-bye.  What’s even better than seeing it for the first time yourself is watching someone else discover this movie.  Ahh, memories.  Happy Halloween (and Halloween) to one and all!

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Posted on October 30, 2011 by Denise

Story: The dead are coming back to life.  They’re coming to get you, Barbara.  And everybody else.  Yeah, that means you.

Scares: Tons.  If this is your first viewing and you freak easily?  Lights on would be a good idea.

Splat factor: Even though this is black & white and you know it’s all fake (she said hopefully), it’s gruesome and gross.  Just the way a zombie movie should be.

Closing scene “shocker”?:  One of the best of the entire horror genre.  Brilliant.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  The original movie that takes zombies from Haiti to horrific.

Trick or Treat?:  God bless you, George Romero.  Night of the Living Dead is so amazing there’s no candy comparison.  This movie starts with a quiet day at the cemetery and goes from zero to sixty in no time at all.  Brilliant performances by the group of people trying to survive the night in a house in the woods, effective makeup, themes of prejudice and government incompetence make this not only a scary good time, but a thinking person’s horror film.  Romero built the  blueprint for all zombie movies that have come since — shoot ’em in the head! — let’s not forget.  This movie is uncomfortable to watch, even after repeat viewings.  All this make Night of the Living Dead not just a genre classic, but a damn fine film.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: The Wolf Man (1941)

Posted on October 29, 2011 by Denise

Story: The Invisible Man’s second son gets an up-close look at mythology when he gets bit by a wolf one evening.

Scares: Even though you know what’s coming, it’s an eerie treat.

Splat factor: Not so much; just about everything happens off-screen or in shadow.  Plus, it’s an old-school black & white film.  What’d you expect, Eli Roth?

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not one bit.  This is a fun morality play with no need for a “gotcha”.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Although it’s not the first werewolf film ever made, it’s the one most folks think of when they think of full moon fever.  And it’s an original, and while there are no sequels, there were a few spin-offs with the character.

Trick or Treat?: Old school goodness of the highest order, like a caramel apple of awesome.  It’s great to see Lon Chaney Jr. as Lawrence Talbot  mackin’ on his ladylove Gwen (Evelyn Ankers) long before his were-dom.  A wolf becoming a werewolf, now that’s karma!  This film takes the lycanthropy myth and spins it into an engaging tale of one man’s struggle to figure out if he’s crazy, or truly cursed.  This take of the werewolf legend is possibly the best one ever, and the years only reinforce that fact.  This film sets the stage for tragic monsters (although this theme had been done before in Werewolf of London and Wolf Blood), and Lon Chaney Jr. gives the performance of his career.  Claude Rains as the elder Talbot and Bela Lugosi as the old gypsy that sets off this horror tragedy are extra sweet treats.  And who can forget the old gypsy woman (the fantastic Maria Ouspenskaya)?  Always remember: even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Trick ‘r Treat

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Denise

Story:  There are thousands of stories every Halloween, but in one little town four stories have particular significance.  Make sure you come correct ’round Halloween, kiddies.

Scares: Quite a few in this new-wave genre classic.

Splat factor: That’s a big-old yessir.  Blood, guts and monsters, oh my!

Closing scene “shocker”?: Since this is an anthology, not really.  But each story has a great Bloch-like twist ready to give you goosebumps.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: 100% original, baby.

Trick or Treat?: Oh how I waited for this movie to come along, like I was Linus in the pumpkin patch.  But after seeing the trailer in multiplexes for what seemed like years, it finally hit DVD in 2009.  It was worth the wait.  This anthology brings Halloween traditions to bloody life in four stories and a wrap-around tale that ties everything together.  Genre favorites like Anna Paquin (X-Men, True Blood), Dylan Baker (Spider Man), Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Popular) and Brian Cox (Deadwood, Red) all turn in well crafted performances, and the set design is Halloween the way the good lords of Cthulhu created it.

This is a movie that gets better upon repeat viewings, as you start to notice the little details director Michael Dougherty (X2, Superman Returns) drops in here and there.  Since this movie takes place in a small town one Hallows Eve, there is quite a few instances of characters from one story popping up in another.  There’s also a good bit of “better watch out!” as Sam(hain?) the little pajama wearing burlap sack-hooded figure goes around town making sure everyone sticks to tradition.  If they don’t?  Well, let the stories show you what’ll happen.  This is as near to perfect a Halloween movie as it gets.  Enjoy…and don’t forget to light that Jack O’ Lantern.  You never know who’s lurking about, making sure you do.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Slither

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Denise

Story: Slimy gummi space worms from outer space. And doom.

Scares: Even though this is a send-up of monster movies, there’s some genuine chills sprinkled throughout.

Splat factor: High. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…and everywhere else. The infected spew, chew & explode.

Closing scene “shocker”?: After the end credits wrap up there’s a quick one. Sneeze and you’ll miss it.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  Though the slugs reminded me of red Night of the Creeps crawlies, this is an original.

Trick or Treat?:  It’s like the house where you get a little bag of treats instead of just one candy bar; with Slither you get more than you think, and that’s a good thing.  Nathan Fillion + genre movie = AWESOME.  Fillion does a great job treading the line between scary & all-out camp. Sheriff Bill is a mix of Captain Hammer and Mel.  And this movie is a mix of zombie movie and alien monster fest, giving horror fans a look at all sorts of cool FX, and all manner of ways for the hapless townsfolk to freak the hell out.  This movie didn’t get enough love at the box office, something that happened to James Gunn’s Super as well.  That’s a shame, they’re both good.  Since this is a literal slugfest, it’s a great double feature with Night of the Creeps. Schlocky fun for everyone, with a few good creepy scenes. Proof that camp & horror can blend together if folks know what they’re doing.

Score:      out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: Red State

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Denise

Story:  Three guys are so desperate for a little S-E-X that they travel to the boonies to get some from an internet hussy.  Except she’s a fundamentalist whackjob.  This is just the start of their up close look at the local hardcore fundamentalist church that has decided to take God’s justice into their own hands.

Scares:  Hey, extreme fundamentalism is scary, no doubt.  But this movie is more thriller than horror.

Splat factor:  Fundies with guns.  Yeah there’ll be blood, but it’s low-key.

Closing scene “shocker”?:  Nope.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: This one’s all original.

Trick or Treat?:  Last House on the Left + The Wild Bunch + Westboro Church + Waco = Red State.  Director Kevin Smith always has something to say, and his movies have served as a fun, entertaining way to serve up his beliefs.  This time he tackles hate crimes, internet sex, religious zealotry and political fuckwittage.  Red State has so much on it’s plate that it’s hard to keep up, which takes all the thrill out of this thriller.  It’s sometimes fun in a Peckinpah sort of way, which I’m guessing (hoping) is what Smith intended.  Too bad that none of the characters are developed beyond a paper cut-out.  With a bare-bones backstory for everyone, they’re just chess pieces Smith moves around.

With all the buzz surrounding this movie, from excitement over Smith’s first horror film to disgust at his behavior at Sundance (and I’m still trying to figure out the anti-Kevin hate for his decision to self-distribute), I was hoping for amazing, Dogma-like awesomeness.  No such luck.  Horror fans will be disappointed with the cop story switcharoo halfway in, and people who enjoy police thrillers and dramatic social commentary may be scared off by the horror flag this movie has been flying.  Red State tries to head in too many directions, and instead ends up chasing it’s own tail.  With a keener eye toward character and storyline, this could have been an amazing film.  Pity.

Score:    out of 5 pumpkins.

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Hey Towson and Hopkins students: Pimp Your School with Harold & Kumar!

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Denise

Time’s running out for all you Harold & Kumar fans; their Munchies Truck Tour will be stopping in Baltimore, and only your votes will tell ’em to stop at Towson University or Johns Hopkins!  Y’know, because they’re too tweaked to figure it out for themselves.

Hey, the swag alone is worth fighting for this visit.  ‘Cause you know it’ll be legend — wait for it — dary.

And you don’t even need a Student I.D. to get in on the action, you just need the wanna.  And you know you wanna.

Here’s the flyer, so go get to Tweeting & get your munchies on!

Baltimore Munchie Truck – A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS

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