Ready to hit the theaters? IF you are, I’ve got a little something for you. Synopsis!
In the not-too-distant future, Todd Hewitt (Tom Holland) discovers Viola (Daisy Ridley), a mysterious girl who crash lands on his planet, where all the women have disappeared, and the men are afflicted by “the Noise” – a force that puts all their thoughts on display. In this dangerous landscape, Viola’s life is threatened – and as Todd vows to protect her, he will have to discover his own inner power and unlock the planet’s dark secrets.
I’ve been stoked about Spiral ever since I heard Chris Rock was involved. I appreciate his love for the franchise, and was eagerly awaiting his take on the mythology. And damn, it’s looking like it’ll be right up there with the original film. Synopsis!
A criminal mastermind unleashes a twisted form of justice in Spiral, the terrifying new chapter from the book of Saw. Working in the shadow of his father, an esteemed police veteran (Samuel L. Jackson), brash Detective Ezekiel “Zeke” Banks (Chris Rock) and his rookie partner (Max Minghella) take charge of a grisly investigation into murders that are eerily reminiscent of the city’s gruesome past. Unwittingly entrapped in a deepening mystery, Zeke finds himself at the center of the killer’s morbid game.
“Oh my God we’ve got a freaking Kaiju up in this shit!”
Awww YEAH! Though this trailer looks amazing – Robie’s Harley is completely nutzo, Elba’s Bloodsport blends deadpan with badass, and Stallone’s King Shark is so hungry… But I’m trying to temper my excitement, because of what happened last time. Still? I’m bouncing a little. Okay, a lot. I mean, have you seen that poster? LOVE. Synopsis!
Welcome to hell—a.k.a. Belle Reve, the prison with the highest mortality rate in the US of A. Where the worst Super-Villains are kept and where they will do anything to get out—even join the super-secret, super-shady Task Force X. Today’s do-or-die assignment? Assemble a collection of cons, including Bloodsport, Peacemaker, Captain Boomerang, Ratcatcher 2, Savant, King Shark, Blackguard, Javelin and everyone’s favorite psycho, Harley Quinn. Then arm them heavily and drop them (literally) on the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese. Trekking through a jungle teeming with militant adversaries and guerrilla forces at every turn, the Squad is on a search-and-destroy mission with only Colonel Rick Flag on the ground to make them behave…and Amanda Waller’s government techies in their ears, tracking their every movement. And as always, one wrong move and they’re dead (whether at the hands of their opponents, a teammate, or Waller herself). If anyone’s laying down bets, the smart money is against them—all of them.
Just like we all figured, this trailer shows that not everybody in the huge cast of characters is gonna be around when the end credits roll. But them’s the breaks. And the bloods, the gores, the squishes… The Suicide Squad hits theaters and HBO
Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool!
“From Baltimore… How nice.”
Genre: Rosemary’s Baby-Type Apartment Building Spooky Stuff Year Released: 1977 Pedigree: Based on the novel of the same name by Jeffrey Konvitz. Where I Watched: Vudu
Synopsis: Alison is a high fashion model in NYC. Yeah, she’s living the good life with her loving lawyer boyfriend, and all the parties she can cram into her busy schedule. But even with her life of privilege, she longs for a place of her own, something she’s never had. So when an apartment opens up in a beautiful Brooklyn brownstone, who cares if her neighbors are weird as hell? (Literally.)Well, except for that blind priest that sits at the window of his unit all day. Every day. Could there be more sinister things afoot? Spoiler: you bet.
“This girl is gonna get home safe tonight. I hope these assholes like hospital food.”
Story: Hutch Mansell is a typical suburban nebbish. Nobody takes him seriously, everybody passes him by, even his family doesn’t pay much attention to him, excepting his adorable young daughter. All that changes one night when burglars break into his house. He does nothing, which disappoints his wife and son. That disappointment – along with years of taking not-so-subtle digs from everyone around him – flips his switch to killer. Like the one he’d been before he gave it all up. Get ready; as Paul Thomas Anderson might say, there will be blood. Genre I’d put it in: Surprise Badass Actioners Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, though this is written by Derek Kolstad, the guy who brought us John Wick.
Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool!
“What happens when the ride really breaks?”
Genre: DUDE IT’S NOT A GAME Slashers Year Released: 2017 Pedigree: Shudder Original Where I Watched: Shudder
Synopsis: Nathan is stoked – this weekend is Slasher Sleepout, and while his BFF can’t make it, his girlfriend Alex is comimg along to fill the spot. But as the weekend progresses, things start to go from horror fan fun to outright terrifying. What’s really going on here?
Season twelve, the second season with the Thirteenth Doctor. With me? Let’s go!
As I’ve said before, the Twelfth Doctor just wasn’t my jam. He was written as too much of a trying hard character, with his Shades and electric guitar. As much as Peter Capaldi tried to work with what he was given (exactly what the hell it all was I’m still trying to figure out), I just never connected with his Doc. The 13th Doctor however? Last season she mixed joie de vivre with a no-nonsense attitude and toned down crazy. And it worked for me.
This new season is truly gorgeous to look at, and visually stands next to eleven. The money is on the screen with the cinematography, practical effects (for the most part – stick pin in that), and set design. I loved staring at it all. And the theme is just as good it was last season, blending the traditional tune with heavy bass beat. Ditto the Rorschach-esque opening credits imagery. And then there are the stories. Unfortunately, things get a bit messy this season, with the usual overarching story coming back into play with the thirteenth Doctor’s second season. There are stories and themes that work well, but most of the time? Things get a bit too heavy-handed. Let’s dig in.
“I didn’t choose to be fabulous. Fabulous chose me.” [WERK]
Genre: YA Fabulousness Release Date: 2017 Where I Watched: Netflix
Talky talk: Directed by Trudy Styler (aka Sting’s muse) in her feature film directorial debut, it’s no wonder this film is fabulous. That, and Billy’s mom is played by Bette Midler. Yes indeed y’all. Grab your umbrella because the glitter is coming DOWN. And I loved every minute.
This bar is a mouthful to say, but happily it’s also a mouthful of deliciousness. Oh my God this is so good! Think of a browned butter brickle, paired with sea salt, then stirred into 55% cacao dark chocolate. Divine.
Adding goodness to the deliciousness, this bar is organic, kosher, fair trade, and from a worker-owned cooperative. So you can feel good about slamming down the whole bar in one go.
” King Akeem may have forgotten his story, but the people of Zamunda have not.”
Story: It’s been 30 years since Prince Akeem went to Queens to find…his queen. Now, with the passing of his father, Akeem is now King. But one problem; he’s got three daughters. And Zamunda must have a male heir. Tradition, yada yada. “Luckily” for him, Akeem fathered a son before he met Queen Lisa. Gas up the jet, we’re going back to America!
Genre I’d Put It In: Serviceable Remakes Worth A Stream
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Sequel to the 80s comedy classic Coming To America.
Atomic Fangirl 