“Why are you holding a rainbow unicorn?”
Where I Watched: Vudu’s 99 cent holiday sale
Genre: Single Parents Find Love Through Mixups Holiday Romance
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: We’ve seen enemies to love stories before, though this is original. Ish.
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“I guess we both have demons to face, going down this road.”
Story: Captain Jefferson Kyle Kidd goes from town to town in the West, reading the news to people in an engaging style. When he finds a “wild” girl after her guardian had been attacked and lynched, he takes it upon himself to bring her home. But as she’s spent more time with the Kiowa people, what is home, exactly?
Genre I’d put it in: New Retro Western
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the novel of the same name by Paulette Jiles.
“I don’t know what’s worse – a bunch of loud, messy, noisy people, or a quiet house all to yourself.”‘Oh, I’d take the latter any day.’ (Girl PREACH #LoveYouFam)
Where I Watched: Vudu’s 99 cent holiday sale
Genre: Family – And Love – Is A Curse And A Blessing Holidayness
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Copies the” families + holidays = crazypants” style of holiday hijijks.
Synopsis: Jacquie is accomplished AF in her work life, mostly because she’s a perfectionist. She’s also got a great big boisterous family that’s coming to her brand new house…and a work related holiday home photo shoot scheduled for Xmas day that could change her life. Hey, where’s the dog…? Continue reading
“Listen honey, you have to trust me on this. A Christmas wedding will be perfect, something no one would expect.”
– a line said unironically by the future mom-in-law
Where I Watched: Netflix
Genre: Crappy Holiday “Get Happy Dammit” Stories
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: An extremely wobbly riff on It’s A Wonderful Life.
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Looking for more to watch while you’re at home, wrapping prezzies and avoiding strangers? I got you, boo. Synopsis!
A family fights for survival as a planet-killing comet races to Earth. John Garrity (Gerard Butler), his estranged wife Allison (Morena Baccarin), and young son Nathan make a perilous journey to their only hope for sanctuary. Amid terrifying news accounts of cities around the world being leveled by the comet’s fragments, the Garrity’s experience the best and worst in humanity while they battle the increasing panic and lawlessness surrounding them. As the countdown to global apocalypse approaches zero, their incredible trek culminates in a desperate and last-minute flight to a possible safe haven.
Ready? Let’s go…to our sofas!
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“You didn’t serve justice, your honor. I will.”
Where I Watched: Netflix
Genre: Throwback Payback Action
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Harks back to the uber-violent 70s and 80s action flicks, especially stuff like the Death Wish series.
Synopsis: Riley North loses her husband and daughter on December 21st, when drug lords decide to take them all down for an incorrectly perceived threat. The baddies get off thanks to lots of dirty dealing within the justice system… But five years later, a healed up Riley comes back ready for revenge.
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“Now. What are we gonna watch?”
Where I Watched: Shudder
Genre: Retro-esque Booby-Nekkids Horror
Pedigree: This one’s from Fangoria. It should have been more fun.
Synopsis: In a super thumpy small town, four teenage movie theater ushers (and one hardcore music loving projectionist) stumble on some old exploration films. But watching these movies gets the blood flowing off the screen and into the aisles…
I’ve been stoked about two films coming soon this year: Promising Young Woman, and Songbird. I can’t say if I’ll have passes for the former, but for Songbird? Here they are! Did I mention this film was made during the pandemic? WHOA. Synopsis!
In the terrifying thriller SONGBIRD , the COVID-23 virus has mutated and the world is in its fourth year of lockdown. Infected Americans are ripped from their homes and forced into quarantine camps known as Q-Zones, from which there is no escape, as a few brave souls fight back against the forces of oppression. Amid this dystopian landscape, a fearless courier, Nico (KJ Apa), who’s immune to the deadly pathogen, finds hope and love with Sara (Sofia Carson), though her lockdown prohibits them from physical contact. When Sara is believed to have become infected, Nico races desperately across the barren streets of Los Angeles in search of the only thing that can save her from imprisonment … or worse.
Ready? Let’s…stay in!
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“You’re gonna fit in great around here. Clearly, you like giving orders.”
Genre: Armed Forces Holiday Luuuuurve
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Based on the real life Operation Christmas Drop by the US Air Force, a tradition since 1952.
Synopsis: Erica is a congressional assistant with her eyes on a possible Chief of Staff slot. So when her boss, Congresswoman Bradford, sends Erica to Guam to check out a base’s well known Christmas Drop (and see about closing the base)? Well, a cute Captain wasn’t part of the deal. Neither was getting her heartstrings tugged by the Drop. Will love blossom, and a base be saved? Are you new to this genre?
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“You don’t stream in 4k? That’s ghetto.”
Where I Watched: Shudder
Genre: Posession Horror, Faked Til It Wasn’t Fake Anymore Cautionary Tales
Pedigree: Based on the 2016 short film by the same director.
Synopsis: Drew and his BFF Max make fake exorcism videos that stream live on YouTube. But one night the fake gets a little too real. Why’d a real possession have to happen when Drew’s fiancée steps in as last-minute talent?
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Got a dollar to spare? A quarter?
Atomic Fangirl 