Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “First Man”!

Missed the Columbia screening? No worries – I’ve got passes for the B’more screening of First Man! Synopsis!

On the heels of their six-time Academy Award®-winning smash, La La Land, Oscar®-winning director Damien Chazelle and star Ryan Gosling reteam for Universal Pictures’ First Man, the riveting story behind the first manned mission to the moon, focusing on Neil Armstrong and the decade leading to the historic Apollo 11 flight. A visceral and intimate account told from Armstrong’s perspective, based on the book by James R. Hansen, the film explores the triumphs and the cost—on Armstrong, his family, his colleagues and the nation itself—of one of the most dangerous missions in history.

Ready? Let’s go!

Continue reading →

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#31in31 2018: Mira Grant’s Horror Movie Survival Guide

“Q: What was that noise?
A: Here’s a tip: it wasn’t the wind.”

Mira Grant. Doing her makeup in a knife’s reflection. As we do. What?

I love Mira Grant.  She’s my spirit animal. (Okay fine.  So is Matt Bellassi, Lindsay Ellis, and of course Stephen King. But roll with me here.)  If you haven’t read Grant’s fantastic Parasitology series, get to it.  It’s really an amazing look at bio-horror.  And don’t get me started on her popular Newsflesh Series.

But since this is the month of October, and we’re all getting into spoooooooky movies?  I’m going to share a link to her amazing How To Survive A Horror Movie.  This should be made into a poster.  Because it’s truth, and it’s funny, and did I mention it’s truth?

Favorite bits?  Well, aside from that quote up above:

  • Q: Is that you, Johnny?
    A: No. It’s not Johnny. It’s never Johnny. Do not date or marry men named Johnny. Do not name your sons Johnny. If your name is Johnny, legal name change forms are cheap…
  • Q: How can the short of stature/lacking of upper body strength survive your average night of the living damned?
    A: Run like hell.
  • Q: Is the creepy guy who just moved in across the street a vampire?
    A: Outside of a horror movie, probably not. But since we’re discussing ways to survive a horror movie…yes. Odds are good that he is.

Read the entire thing Right Here at her website. Seriously.  I’ll be back tomorrow. And remember…#themoreyouknow

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#31in31 2018: “Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever”

“Laugh it off man, this ain’t shit.”

Story: The survivor of the original Fever made it out (relatively) alive, hooray! He swam in a river and came out the other side. But don’t get attached. Instead, wonder what happens to water when a highly infectious virus hits it…and gets bottled for the local high school.
Who’s ready for prom?

Scares: Few. Because let’s face it, you’re here for the gore, not the scares.

Splat factor: Just as icky as the original, but with a slightly different feel. Still, maybe skip spaghetti and meatballs during this one. Continue reading →

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“A Star Is Born” (2018) – a riveting remake

Nutshell: THAT’S how it’s done. An amazing remake by first-time director Cooper that’s full of the sturm, drang and achingly beautiful moments we expect from this classic story. He’s got his work cut out for him with his next film; Star is perfection. Grade: A

“They serve alcohol? Then it’s my kinda place.”

Story: Music superstar Jackson Maine is talented as hell. He’s also got addictions that keep him on the razor’s edge of losing it all. When he sees a young talented woman perform in an out-of-the-way bar, he’s amazed at her talent and instantly smitten. But as her singing career takes off, Jackson’s demons rise up. Continue reading →

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#31in31 2018: “The Awakening”

“Without science people don’t believe in nothing, they believe in everything.”

Story: It’s just after WWI, and a woman who has a painful past tries to cope by exposing “paranormal” frauds. Then she’s asked to help figure out mysterious goings-on at a boys school in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure things will be explained scientifically. What was THAT?

Scares: Lots of chills, and even a few shocks. Continue reading →

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TrailerWatch: Taron Egerton is a young Sir Elton in “Rocketman”

Elton John is a legend,no doubt. But do you know his early years? (Seriously – give Honky Chateau a listen. You’re welcome.) Rocketman dives into Sir Elton’s early years, and this trailer looks great. Synopsis!

ROCKETMAN is an epic musical fantasy about the uncensored human story of Sir Elton John’s breakthrough years, starring Taron Egerton, Jamie Bell, Richard Madden and Bryce Dallas Howard.

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#31in31 2018: let’s get this started with “I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker”!

Welcome to #31in31!  My yearly horror hound collection of horror movies for October, aka The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.  Let’s get started, yeah?

“Wait. You really liked it? Well now I feel terrible.”

Story: The last remaining Harkers – brothers and sister Paige – are the town joke. But the joke’s on the town when a real vampire shows up.

Scares: Zero.

Splat factor: Lots of red literally thrown around. And some fun body parts.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope, but the last line is a hoot. Continue reading →

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza: “First Man”!

MOAR PASSES!  This time it’s for the Oscar Bait film about the first mission to the moon, First Man! Synopsis!

On the heels of their six-time Academy Award®-winning smash, La La Land, Oscar®-winning director Damien Chazelle and star Ryan Gosling reteam for Universal Pictures’ First Man, the riveting story behind the first manned mission to the moon, focusing on Neil Armstrong and the decade leading to the historic Apollo 11 flight.  A visceral and intimate account told from Armstrong’s perspective, based on the book by James R. Hansen, the film explores the triumphs and the cost—on Armstrong, his family, his colleagues and the nation itself—of one of the most dangerous missions in history.

Ready? Let’s go!

Continue reading →

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“Night School” doesn’t quite make the grade

Nutshell: I shouldn’t watch the end credits of a Hart & Haddish comedy trying to figure out why I’m unimpressed with what I just saw. But I was. Give these two better folks behind the camera. Grade: D+

“That’s what’s up.”

Story: Teddy Walker never finished high school, but he found himself a stable job as a salesman, which kept him more than cozy for seventeen years. But when he has to try for a new job, he finds his lack of a diploma keeps cropping up. Onward, to night school!

Genre I’d put it in: Fumbled Attempts At Bringing Talent Together

Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, though it feels like any number of school-based comedies. Continue reading →

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TrailerWatch: “Hellfest” throwback trailer brings the 80s!

“Visit the park where the monsters are fake, but the terror…IS REAL”

I love this. Absolutely, totally 80s. What an amazing trailer. From the cool throwback logos and title card to the “weathered” film footage. It’s so totally 80s!  Synopsis!

A masked serial killer turns a horror themed amusement park into his own personal playground, terrorizing a group of friends while the rest of the patrons believe that it is all part of the show.

Hellfest comes to town this Friday, September 28th!

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