#31in31 – “Humane”

“We’re a fucking FAMILY!”

Story: Years into a “catastrophic ecological collapse”, the Athens Accords plot out worldwide population reductions each country must meet with a year. Can a group of self-absorbed siblings deal with these reductions when the reality of the situation comes to their door? Y’know, before dessert?

Scares: More uncomfortably comedic than spooky, though echos of real life issues can be chilling.
Splat Factor: Some well done stabs and other types of bloody mayhem.

Subgenre: Dark AF Dystopian Satire
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though you’ll definitely see parallels to our current climate crisis.

Trick or Treat?: David Cronenberg is a horror legend, directing outrageous, incredible films like Videodrome, Rabid, and 1986’s The Fly. His son Brandon has recently crafted horrors Antiviral, Possessor, and Infinity Pool. Now daughter Caitlin Cronenberg has stepped up to the directorial plate with Humane, a darkly comedic look at what the world may come to if the human population takes too great a toll on our ever-dwindling natural resources. Humane has vibes that echo other recent satirical horror, like Ready or Not, and 2015’s The Invitation, but with one difference. This film purposefully hits very close to home. Y’know, if we continue to be dicks about our planet.

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#31in31 – “The Last House on the Left” (2009)

“So, what are you guys doing out here anyway? I mean, this is kinda out in the middle of nowhere.”

Story: The Collingwood family – John, Emma, and daughter Mari – head up to their lake house for some r&r. But instead of hanging out with the ‘rents, Mari meets up with townie friend Paige. But the two girls get a whole lot more than they bargained for when a hangout with a boy they just met turns into meeting his family. His very violent family. Meanwhile, John and Emma are kicking back at the house, when a storm breaks. Knock knock, who’s there? Trouble. But for who?

Scares: Horrifying rather than terrifying at first, then comes…
Splat Factor: …the gross out.

Subgenre: Grindhouse Remakes
Year Released: 2009
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Remake of 1972’s The Last House on the Left

Trick or Treat?: The OG The Last House on the Left is infamous for it’s over the top horrific sequences of violence. It was thought of as one of those Can’t Make This Nowadays films. But as the aughts were big into the “torture pørn” subgenre, a remake of this chiller seemed tailor made. And while grindhouse purists may turn their noses up at this new take, it’s got a lot to recommend.

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My thoughts on “Joker: Folie à Deux”

“Are you okay? You know we can cancel.”

Story: Two years after the goings-on in Joker, Arthur Fleck is chillin’ like a literal villain in Arkham Asylum. All he wants from life is his daily meds, and an occasional cigarette. But when he meets “Lee” Quinzel, a woman who’s also in Arkham, sparks fly. Literally and figuratively. When Arthur is finally tried for his crimes will Lee’s Mistah J stand up?

Genre I’d put it in: Jukebox Musicals Loosely Based on DC Villains
Release Date: 2024
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the characters in DC comic’s stable, but mainly from the Batman, Joker, and Harley Quinn oeuvre.

Gotta say: So Deux hit theaters Friday, but I couldn’t make it. Plus, I was at Saturday Night the night this puppy screened. But I really needed to see this “musical adaptation” of Joker and Harley’s love story, as told by Todd Phillips. And it’s a trip, y’all. If you just ride the ride, it’s not bad. It’s joyful mayhem doesn’t always work, but for the most part? It’s fascinating anarchy I can appreciate. I think Mistah J might approve.

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#31in31 – “Dark Harvest”

“You know something, Ricks? I don’t think I care too much for this podunk town anymore.”

Story: Every year on Halloween, the yutes of a small rural town go on a “Halloween Run”. There’s a legend of “Sawtooth Jack”, a local boogeyman who tries to get to the town’s church before midnight. The Run? Well, the boys must stop Jack at all costs. All costs. Did I mention the winner of the Run gets a special prize? After all participants have been locked in their rooms for three days, without food. That’s not weird at all. On your mark…

Scares: An overall sense of dread. This film’s more about the red stuff, though wandering through cornfields at night can be darn spooky.
Splat Factor: Teens get slaughtered big-time. Mostly in wide shots, but we’re talking bodies ripped apart, and geysers of the red stuff.

Subgenre: Small Town Fall Folk Horror
Year Released: 2023
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the book of the same name by Norman Partridge.

Trick or Treat?: Harvest deserves a lot more eyes on it. Heck, the book deserves more love as well, but I didn’t even realize this film had released last October. I knew it was on the schedule for 2023, but then I lost track. Shame on you, marketing people. Because this one’s a blast that’s perfect for the season.

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“Piece By Piece” – honest, entertaining, uplifting

“Piece by piece, we can build something extraordinary.”

Story: This LEGO documentary (LEGOmentary?) looks at the life of Pharrell Williams, from his childhood in Virginia Beach, to his super-stardom. And a whole lot of bumps along the way, LEGO and real-life.

Genre I’d put it in: Fun, Feel Good Animated Biopics
Release Date: 2024
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the life of Pharrell Williams

Gotta say: Hey. Did know that Pharrell Williams wrote the “da da da dat DA – I’m lovin’ it!” jingle for McDonalds? Of course you did; y’all are cool like that. As for me, Piece was one big moment of “oh wow – Williams worked on this? This too? And also this again?” Over and over again. And I’ve never had so much fun being schooled.

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#31in31 – “V/H/S Beyond”

“Maybe we’re not alone, and maybe our company does not wish us well.”

Story: The search for life beyond our wee planet has been going on for quite some time. A documentarian looks at two tapes – “Proof 1” and “Proof 2” – to see if they hold any information that can prove there’s life out there.

Scares: Several solid moments, and lots of fun sci-fi/horror shenanigans
Splat Factor: Blood. Entrails. Faces ripped off. People torn apart or put back together-ish.

Subgenre: Popular Horror Anthology Series
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Part of the V/H/S series of films

Trick or Treat?: The V/H/S series has been a long, strange trip, and for the most part getting a new entry has been one of the many reasons October is so much fun. (We do not speak of V/H/S Viral. At all.) This time, the series focuses on aliens, with almost every story getting a touch of the E.T. treatment. And it just might be the best one yet, second only to last year’s ’85.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Smile 2”!

Ready for more smiles? This sequel looks like a blend of Vox Lux and the first film…and I’m digging it. Synopsis!

About to embark on a new world tour, global pop sensation Skye Riley (Naomi Scott) begins experiencing increasingly terrifying and inexplicable events. Overwhelmed by the escalating horrors and the pressures of fame, Skye is forced to face her dark past to regain control of her life before it spirals out of control.

Ready? Let’s go!

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#31in31 – “The Demon Disorder”


“I thought MY family was fucked up.”

Story: Three brothers did a thing awhile back. Their grief, guilt, and horror has haunted them ever since. So when prodigal son/brother Phillip comes back home? More than the third brother has come back to roost.

Scares: More gross than scary, though there’s a thick cloud of unease throughout.
Splat Factor:  absolutely sickening animal body horror (that turns into sickening human body horror) also, obviously, lots and LOTS of dead, brutalized animals. FYI, yada yada.

Subgenre: Family Trauma Body Horror
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: An unremarkable title hides an effectively creepy chiller filled with familial regret, secets, and remarkably effective FX. Don’t sleep on this one; I haven’t heard much about it, but luckily stumbled upon it on Shudder. You should stumble too.

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#31in31 – #ChadGetsTheAxe

*wouldn’t it be funny if they all just died* [HARSH, dude.]

Story: Social media wannabe Steve decides to do a live stream from Devil’s Manor, your typical abandoned place that used to be a Satanic meeting…place. With fellow big-name influencers Chad, Jennifer, and Spencer getting in on the action, will anyone believe them when things get spooky?

Scares: More fun than frightening
Splat Factor: A touch here and there. The found footage format doesn’t let things get icky.

Subgenre: Abandoned Place Found Footage
Year Released: 2022
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but you’ll get vibes from other similarly set FF films

Trick or Treat?: Axe feels like a mashup of Unfriended and other “let’s stream at a haunted place” movies, like Grave Encounters and Deadstream. The story plays out on our characters’ phones, switching from livestream POV to apps to phone, and it works incredibly well. This one’ll make you feel like you’re part of the livestream audience…which feels great, and gross. Not because things are actually gross, but because if you’re like me? You’ll be so immersed in this story that you’ll feel like hot garbage for being yet another spectator who did nothing as everything unfolded.

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#31in31 – Salem’s Lot

“Ahh, for fuck’s sake!”

Scares: A few. Yeah, I’m shocked too.
Splat Factor: More than either network miniseries, but not much for cable

Story: It’s been decades since author Ben Mears moved away from ‘Salem’s Lot, and he’s no longer the child that grew up there. But he’s still got the heebie-jeebies over the Marsten House; a mansion that looms over the town. Perhaps his imagination will be sparked by returning to the town that gave his spooky imagination that first push. And hey, he’s not the only one moving to the town; there’s a new owner of the Marsten House. Which I’m sure will cause nothing bad to happen to the Lot.

Subgenre: Another “Adaptation” When We Have A Fine One Already
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Loosely based on the novel by Stephen King. Very loosely.

Trick or Treat?: ‘Salems Lot is one of Kings novels that still scares the crap outta me. Just something about the way an entire town can slowly turn into a nest of vampires really gets me. And King’s way of creating characters you really care about, even if they barely get a blip in the story, makes the tale particularly horrifying. Unfortunately, this Lot feels both rushed and empty. I get that with less than two hours to tell this tale, the plot is gonna zoom. But the hollow feeling I had as the credits rolled, made me kinda wish I hadn’t bothered.

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