TrailerWatch: Amazon video’s “Suspiria”

Posted on June 4, 2018 by Denise

How can anyone top the great Dario Argento? The reboot of Suspiria aims to be in the same ballpark, and with this new trailer, 2018’s Suspiria hopes to harness the same creepy, stylistic mood of the original classic. Synopsis!

A darkness swirls at the center of a world-renowned dance company, one that will engulf the troupe’s artistic director, an ambitious young dancer, and a grieving psychotherapist. Some will succumb to the nightmare. Others will finally wake up.

This trailer doesn’t do much for me – I’m a die-hard Argento fan, so I’m keeping a skeptical eye open ’til I know more. Right now it feels like a desperate attempt to clone a cult classic. But here’s hoping that with this film, Dakota Johnson gets a film she can really work with. That she’s co-starring with the glorious Tilda Swinton gives me a bit of hope. Not much, but a glimmer. I’ll wait for the next trailer to give final buzz judgemen Suspiria arrives in theaters November 2.

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Vid of the Day: “Divine Bovine” by Gunnar Madsen!

Posted on June 1, 2018 by Denise

I love cows.  They give us cheese.  They’re content with hanging out in a field, noshing on green grass. They’re kinda awesome.  (Unless they have guns.)

I also love music. Who doesn’t? So when I heard that Gunnar Madsen wrote a song called “Divine Bovine”, I had to dig in. Gunnar’s singing protagonist is a dairy cow, and she gives you a peek at her life down on the farm.

Now, this song (and the entire album it’s on, I Am Your Food) is for kids, but I have to admit I got sucked into this song big time. This is a song folks with little ones won’t want to kill themselves after hearing nineteen zillion times (the average number of times a child wants to listen to a song s/he likes)…in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if families sang this together in the car.  Or in the bath.  Or kitchen.  Or, best yet, on their next trip to a farm.  When in Rome!

“Milk milk, moo moo!”  Your earworm for the day.  YOU’RE WELCOME Y’ALL. Have a wonderful weekend.  And don’t let it bother you.  Be like Cow.

[A review of the whole album is coming down the pike over on The Green Man Review. Of course it’ll be cross-posted here. Keep your bananas peeled!  #seewhatididthere #okayillstop]

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza: “Hotel Artemis”

Posted on June 1, 2018 by Denise

Ready for some seamy underbelly?  Because I’ve got passes for the Columbia, MD screening of Hotel Artemis! Synopsis!

Set in riot-torn, near-future Los Angeles, HOTEL ARTEMIS is an original, high-octane action-thriller starring Jodie Foster as The Nurse, who runs a secret, members-only hospital for criminals. Jodie Foster is joined by an all-star cast that includes Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum, Bryan Tyree Henry, Jenny Slate, Zachary Quinto, Charlie Day, and Dave Bautista.

Ready? Let’s go! Continue reading →

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “Ocean’s 8”!

Posted on May 30, 2018 by Denise

Ready for some heist shenanigans? Because I’ve got passes for the B’more screening of Ocean’s 8, and I’m gonna share ’em with ya! But first? Synopsis!

Five years, eight months, 12 days…and counting. That’s how long Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock) has been devising the biggest heist of her life. She knows what it’s going to take—a team of the best in their field, starting with her partner-in-crime Lou Miller (Cate Blanchett). Together, they recruit a crew of specialists: jeweler Amita (Mindy Kaling); street con Constance (Awkwafina); expert fence Tammy (Sarah Paulson); hacker Nine Ball (Rihanna); and fashion designer Rose (Helena Bonham Carter). The target is a cool $150 million dollars in diamonds—diamonds that will be around the neck of world-famous actress Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway), who will be centerstage at the event of the year, the Met Gala. The plan is rock solid, but everything will need to be flawless if the team is going to get in and get away with the ice. All in plain sight.

Let’s go!

Continue reading →

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“Solo”: Perhaps not the origin story we were looking for, but it works

Posted on May 24, 2018 by Denise

Nutshell: A fast paced rock ’em, sock ’em actioner that introduces a young Han Solo to the Star Wars universe. While folks who are looking for lots of links to cannon may be disappointed, moviegoers who don’t mind a cursory peek at young Han  (AND LANDO!!!11!) will definitely be entertained.  Grade: B

“Kashyyykian Moof-Milker!”

Story: Some guy grows up on the streets, stealing and conning to get by. Meets a tall fuzzy bloke, a guy who really digs capes, and a crew of smugglers. But one big score – with a woman from the past – could put them all on easy street. I’m sure it’ll be a piece of cake.

Genre I’d put it in: Fun But Fluffy Origin Tale

Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the Star Wars universe. An origin story for Han Solo.  Obviously. Second in a planned Star Wars anthology series. Continue reading →

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Elsewhere Review: Mast Sea Salt Chocolate

Posted on May 20, 2018 by Denise
From this week’s edition of The Green Man Review. Read the original post here!

Lately, sea salt is in everything I adore. Caramels, brittle, toffee, peanut butter cups.  And, of course, chocolate bars. When I was given a bar of Mast, I figured it’d be the same ol’ same ol; a chocolate bar that headlines sea salt, but only gives nibblers a faint echo of the stuff.

But Mast has found a perfect balance of deep dark chocolate and crisp sea salt goodness.  It’s not overpowering, yet the salt does make its presence known. There are loads of salt crystals scattered throughout, though in order to get the pretty salt sparkle you’ll need to turn the bar over and look at the back. Continue reading →

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“Book Club” – boilerplate made beautiful by a great cast

Posted on May 18, 2018 by Denise

Nutshell: Enjoyable lightweight romantic comedy for Boomers and anyone else interested in seeing characters face romantic challenges rather than simply hopping into the sack. Keaton, Fonda, Bergen and Steenburgen need to be in more movies together; they make a great team. Grade: B

“I’m not even sure this qualifies as a ‘book’.”

Continue reading →

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TrailerWatch: “Bohemian Rhapsody” is here!

Posted on May 15, 2018 by Denise

“I pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever.”

Yeah, I’m of an age.  Sang “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions” in middle-school.  Begged my parents for a copy of “The Game” when it was released. Swooned over the Highlander soundtrack. Banged my head with Wayne and Garth to “Bohemian Rhapsody” (I still want a licorice dispenser in my car, dammit.) And cried my eyes out when Freddie Mercury succumbed to AIDS in 1991.  So now that the Freddie Mercury/Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody is finally making its way to theaters?  I’m absolutely fired up. In fact, I should have posted this sooner, but I’ve watched it eight times already.  Maybe nine.  Ten.

Behold the trailer! I’m absolutely loving the Queen mashup at the start of this trailer. Like, “want to buy it right freakin’ now please let them have it on the soundtrack” love. It’s wonderful. If the film is even half as good as that mashup, I’m so in. But honestly? I hope it’s even better. Rami Malek seems to be channeling the incouciance of Freddie Mercury’s stage personal, and I look forward to seeing even more of Malek in action. Plus, Aiden Gillen is Queen’s manager John Reid. What’s not to get pumped about?

Bohemian Rhapsody hits theaters Novenber 2nd, 2018. Happy birthday month to me, y’all.

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#SpoilerFreeReview: “Deadpool 2” – not just dialed to 11, but dialed to DEADPOOL 11

Posted on May 15, 2018 by Denise

Nutshell: Dopinder and the gang are back for more fourth-wall breaking hijinks, and I couldn’t be happier. Not because the story is good (it is) or that the actors are more than down to clown (they are), but because 2 might possibly be better than the first one. Yeah, I’m truthin’ here. Grade: A… Aww hell, let’s go with A+

“You’re welcome, Canada.”

Story: It’s just a boy in a red suit, standing in front of a girl.  Asking her to love him.  And while Wade Wilson and his squeeze Vanessa are gearing up to celebrate an anniversary…well, shit goes down.  Doesn’t it always?  This time, said shit brings a time-travelling cyborg that will stop at nothing to…well, just go see the movie, dammit. Continue reading →

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TrailerWatch: Cannes darling “BlacKkKlansman” gets an official trailer

Posted on May 15, 2018 by Denise

“You ask too many questions.  You undercover or something?”

Ready for the newest Spike Lee joint? Because it looks like a good one. Black officer. Jewish partner. Down to infiltrate the KKK in 1970s Colorado. Did I mention it’s co-produced by a roster of folks including Jordan Peele (Get Out) and Jason Blum (Blumhouse Productions)? Synopsis!

From visionary filmmaker Spike Lee comes the incredible true story of an American hero. It’s the early 1970s, and Ron Stallworth (John David Washington) is the first African-American detective to serve in the Colorado Springs Police Department. Determined to make a name for himself, Stallworth bravely sets out on a dangerous mission: infiltrate and expose the Ku Klux Klan. The young detective soon recruits a more seasoned colleague, Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver), into the undercover investigation of a lifetime. Together, they team up to take down the extremist hate group as the organization aims to sanitize its violent rhetoric to appeal to the mainstream.  Produced by the team behind the Academy-Award® winning Get Out.

BlacKkKlansman opens August 10, 2018.

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