Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Finding Dory!

finding dory onesheetDisney Pixar!  Woohoo!  Dory!  Yaaa…wait, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah. Finding Dory.  Synopsis!

Disney•Pixar’s “Finding Dory” welcomes back to the big screen everyone’s favorite forgetful blue tang Dory (voice of Ellen DeGeneres), who’s living happily in the reef with Nemo (voice of Hayden Rolence) and Marlin (voice of Albert Brooks). When Dory suddenly remembers that she has a family out there who may be looking for her, the trio takes off on a life-changing adventure across the ocean to California’s prestigious Marine Life Institute, a rehabilitation center and aquarium. In an effort to find her mom (voice of Diane Keaton) and dad (voice of Eugene Levy), Dory enlists the help of three of the MLI’s most intriguing residents: Hank (voice of Ed O’Neill), a cantankerous octopus who frequently gives employees the slip; Bailey (voice of Ty Burrell), a beluga whale who is convinced his echolocation skills are on the fritz; and Destiny (voice of Kaitlin Olson), a nearsighted whale shark. Deftly navigating the complex innerworkings of the MLI, Dory and her friends discover the magic within their flaws, friendships and family.

Directed by Andrew Stanton (“Finding Nemo,” “WALL•E”), co-directed by Angus MacLane (“Toy Story OF TERROR!”), and produced by Lindsey Collins (co-producer “WALL•E”), Disney•Pixar’s  “Finding Dory” swims into theaters June 17, 2016. For more information, like us on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/PixarFindingDory, and follow us on Twitter, https://twitter.com/findingdory and Instagram, https://instagram.com/DisneyPixar.

I’ve got FIVE (5) pairs of 4-packs for this screening.  Why?  Because who wants to disappoint kids?  The studio isn’t over-packing this one.  That said, still do come early to make sure you get a seat.  Right this way…

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Behind-the-Scenes at Cirque du Soleil’s TORUK – The First Flight

Direhorses ready to perform

TORUK – First Flight: Direhorses ready to perform

Anyone who’s ever “done theater” gets a certain rush at the thought of going behind the scenes for any production.  A peek behind the curtain reminds us of what we used to do, albeit on a much grander scale than the way we did it.  Heck, even folks who just love to be entertained typically want to know what it took to bring such fabulousness their way.  So when Cirque du Soleil asked if I wanted to take a tour of the TORUK – First Flight production just before opening night, of course I said yes.  And I’m glad I did.  Here’s some tidbits on exactly what goes on in order to bring this production to theatergoers! Continue reading

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“Warcraft” – disappointment in cinema form

warcraft the beginning

Nutshell: Disappointment, thy name is Warcraft. Or, better put, thy name is Duncan Jones.  With a huge mythology to work with, and seemingly unlimited funds, to make a film that makes no sense, and fails to connect with viewers on even the most basic level is a crime against celluloid.  Bumping up a half-grade for the Glenn Close cameo, and some truly gorgeous art direction and VFX. Grade: D

“It’s a boom stick”Ash in Evil Dead III a dwarven armorer in Warcraft, parroting his betters

At a hair over two hours, Warcraft feels like four.  That’s a hint and a half for your poor theater-seat tuchas, and your poor confused brain.  Confused?  Yep; because all through Warcraft there will be one overwhelming question on your mind:

What the hell is going on here?

I don’t know.  Wish I could tell you.  And apparently the screenwriters, director and cast don’t know either.  Pity.  The trailer was awesome.  Really had me psyched for this.  Unfortunately, a muddled script that feels like nobody bothered to check continuity when rewrites hit, hobbled this film.  Crippled it beyond any hope of salvation. Continue reading

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Baltimore Comic-Con: Hughes! Starlin! Anderson! Blevins! MOAR!

BaltimoreComicCon_logo_nodateY’all know I’m a Harley Quinn addict. So imagine my surprise and glee when I saw that Baltimore Comic-Con just added kickass artist Brett Blevins, whose Harley Quinn Road Trip Special is an breathtaking, beautiful hoot!  (And if you haven’t read it yet, you need to.  It’s fantastic.)

New creators announced also include Mark Texeira (his work on Doctor Strange is gorgeous), Jim Starlinn (um, THANOS. ‘Nuff said.) And of course the amazingly talented Adam Hughes, whose work on Harley Quinn #0 – not to mention his HQ #1 variant cover – still has me drooling.

Read on for the full deets!

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“What’s it Like?” – Awesome Con: Saturday and Sunday thoughts

AwesomeCon Logo 2015Well, since I was totally wiped on Saturday, with insomnia hitting Saturday night (because of course), here’s a compilation of Saturday and Sunday’s “What’s It Like”!  Tidbits from Matthew Lewis and John Barrowman panels, as well as notes from some smaller discussions coming later today!  Exclamation points for everyone!

What was going on in my head as I headed to, shuffled around, and finally left Awesome Con?  Lemme show you…

SATURDAY

* 8:30 am already? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

* CARB HANGOVER. Blergh. It’s what I get for eating nothing but granola, bread, brie and ham (hooray Trader Joe’s) yesterday. I don’t want to see another carb for…a full 20 minutes. I’d kill for a raspberry. Maybe duck out and meet friends for lunch? Indian buffet = all the cucumbers I can eat. And friendship.

* Aaaaaaand my phone charger picks today to start going wonky. Grooooovy.

* Get up get up get UP – engineering is coming to fix it broken TV in 20 minutes. You’re a nightmare naked. Shake a tailfeather.

* walking from 20th & E to 9th & K. Great idea! But I need the exercise after Carb-palooza. Starbucks iced decaf, take me away!

* it’s amazing how many guys on the streets of DC cosplay as douchebags. Continue reading

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“What’s it like to attend a con?” – Awesome Con Friday Thoughts

AwesomeCon Logo 2015Ever wonder what’s going on in the head of someone who’s supposed to be hitting a convention for “work”?  Well, I figured instead of busting it to make every panel – don’t worry, I’ll be posting what I go through to do that when I cover BronyCon later this year – I figured I’d post about what it’s like to hit a big convention.  So onward, to my mind’s eye during Awesome Con’s first day!  You have been warned.

[NOTE: these thoughts are in chronological order, from approximately noon to 10pm.  I was going to jot down the exact time, but figured that’d cramp my thought process.  Thinking is hard.]

* hooray! At Silver Spring! Let’s do this!

* finally on the metro. Whose brilliant idea was it to bring two bags rather than one wheelie?

* Why does it seem longer to walk everywhere this year? Oh yeah – different part of the Center, and also two bags.

* “Here’s your badge, and your tshirt!”
‘Um, I already have a badge. You can have this back.’
guy looks at me as if I’m a complete git
I’m an idiot Continue reading

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“Me Before You” – warm fuzzies and sugarcoating make for a sweet romantic trifle

me before you onesheetNutshell: There’s no denying that Clarke and Claflin have onscreen chemistry.  And this “who knew they were made for each other” story strikes all the right romantic notes.  But there’s a whitewash to Will’s quadriplegia that turns this sweet modern story into a fairy tale.  Bring tissues; this tale was made for weeping.  An ability to overlook the fact that money makes dealing with illness much easier won’t hurt either.  Sure to be a Ben & Jerry’s & Chill pleasure when this film hits streaming.  Grade: B

“Can’t you slow down?  I’m wearing the wrong bra.”

I’m gonna keep this review short and sweet, just like this film.

Lou Clark (Emilia Clarke) is a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but with out the annoying crap.  She dresses like I would if I gave zero fucks, and it is AWESOME. (If Emilia rocks a 9M, costuming better put those shoes on lockdown.  Just saying.) Will Traynor (Sam Claflin) is an adventure seeking playboy whose life got derailed when he got hit by a motorcycle and became a quadriplegic two years ago.  When Lou gets canned from her bakery job, she gets placed as a caretaker for Will.  It’s a six month temp job…because Will is planning on ending it all after he’s given his parents the six month wait-and-see they’ve asked for.  Naturally, they fall in love, and Lou is determined to show him that there’s a reason for living.

Now before you get all bummed out because of Horrible Health Stuff, let me put your mind to rest.  There’s not much horror in Will’s situation, outside of what’s going on in his tattered psyche.  All of the day-to-day real life stuff is either painted as cute (she shaves him! Feeds him!) or is handled off camera. The focus of Me is the bond that develops between Lou and Will, not Will’s prognosis.  Even though it is a heartbreaking one.

That there’s a bond between these two is never in doubt. But the director has such a light touch, whisks away so much of the unpleasantness of chronic illness, that all emotions get watered down as a result. Is life worth living in a wheelchair if your health is so poor that every day could bring the end? Could the difficulties become bearable if love is in the picture? These questions are skirted, and that’s a shame. Really digging into these ideas would have made this a deeper, more meaningful film.  Hey, a straight up sweet romance is fine too. But it could have been a film that sticks with you, rather than a lovely diversion you reach for when this hits Netflix.

Claflin and Clarke give amazing performances, and their off-screen status as goofy pals shows through on screen. It’s also good to see Neville Longbottom (fine; Matthew Lewis) as Lou’s exercise-addict boyfriend, Brother Numsay Charles Dance as Will’s dad, Mr. Bates Brendan Coyle as Lou’s dad, and The Impossible Girl Jenna Coleman as Lou’s sister Treena.  Casting talented folks that I already know and adore helped me settle in, no doubt.  And the fact that Will’s family is absolutely filthy, stinking rich helps push aside the idea of not being able to manage such a devastating injury. We’re talking they live in a castle that has the castle their family lived in centuries before within walking distance.  Crazy, stupid rich.  (That also helps Lou push aside Will’s problems as she tries to get him to see the beauty of life; there’s a licensed caregiver that takes care of the figurative and literal heavy lifting.)

Speaking of sweeping things to the side, the climax of the film is also off camera. That feels like a cheat, and it is. But having the story play put this way is a whole lot more believable – and truer to the characters – than a maudlin happy ever after that would never play out in real life.

But still, I liked the story. Will isn’t a Magical Invalid, in the vein of insipid films like Love Story. He’s angry. Devastated. Done with life. That a love story addresses those feelings is a wonder. That they get it right, even with the emotional photoshop, is even more amazing.

Love love? Dig in.  Enjoy the idea of love having no impediments beyond the physical, and enjoy.  Kleenex NOT optional.  Unless you’re dead inside.  Don’t be dead inside.

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TrailerWatch: “Monster Trucks” gives you family friendly monsters

monster truck stillMonster Trucks. Sounds like NASCAR amped, doesn’t it? Well, it also happens to be the latest movie trailer from Paramount and it’s worth a look for sheer “what’s going on HERE” value. And because the monster in this movie looks like The Host‘s adorable second cousin. Synopsis!

Looking for any way to get away from the life and town he was born into, Tripp (Lucas Till), a high school senior, builds a Monster Truck from bits and pieces of scrapped cars. After an accident at a nearby oil-drilling site displaces a strange and subterranean creature with a taste and a talent for speed, Tripp may have just found the key to getting out of town and a most unlikely friend. Melding cutting edge visual effects and state-of-the-art CGI, Monster Trucks is an action filled adventure for the whole family that will keep you on the edge of your seat and ultimately touch your heart.

Directed by: Chris Wedge

Starring: Lucas Till, Jane Levy, Holt McCallany, Barry Pepper, Tucker Albrizzi, Danny Glover, Amy Ryan, Rob Lowe, Frank Whaley, and Thomas Lennon

https://www.facebook.com/MonsterTrucksMovie

https://twitter.com/MonsterTrucks

Monster Trucks revs into theaters January 13th, 2017. So if you’re looking for an adorable Friday the 13th joint for next January…

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Wayback Review: ‘The Stepford Wives’, three ways

[When the 2004 remake of The Stepford Wives hit theaters, I figured why not review the book by Ira Leven, and the classic film from 1975? Why not indeed. Enjoy this triptik from the dearly departed Green Man Review, originally published in October, 2007.]

Ira Levin, The Stepford Wives (Random House, 1972)
The Stepford Wives(Paolmar Pictures International, Inc. 1975)
The Stepford Wives (Paramount Pictures, 2004)

stepford 3 waysSomething is definitely wrong in the bucolic town of Stepford, Connecticut. For one thing, the ladies have a fashion sense that dates back to the 1960’s. Then there’s the problem with their husbands; they look happy. Too happy. Maybe it’s because their wives are all so amazingly beautiful, and such whiz-bang housekeepers. Or perhaps it’s due to the fact that the ladies seem, well, built to please. No matter which way you look at it, Stepford is Trouble with a capital “T,” and that rhymes with “R” and that stands for robot.*

Yeah, I gave away the town’s shocking secret. My apologies to the handful of folks out there who didn’t already know. With Perennial’s paperback edition saying that “…the title itself has earned a place in the American lexicon”, I felt pretty safe in my belief that the surprise ending is no longer such a surprise. What is a surprise is the way the remake of the 1975 film (which was in turn based on the 1972 novel) has changed from a taut, suspenseful thriller to a parody of itself. Which is not surprising, given the release of “horror” movies like Scream and Scary Movie, but disappointing nonetheless. Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: The Conjuring 2!

CONJURING 2 posterBoo!  Scared you?  Okay so maybe I’m off my game.  But gotta admit The Conjuring was on point with their horror.  So now there’s a sequel, aptly titled The Conjuring 2, and I’ve got screening passes, Baltimore!  Synopsis!

Director James Wan brings this supernatural thriller to the screen with another real case from the files of renowned demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren.. Reprising their roles, Oscar nominee Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson star as Lorraine and Ed Warren, who, in one of their most terrifying paranormal investigations, travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits.

The trailer looks incredibly creepy. That’s a good thing.  So of course you want to get some chills this humid, sticky springtime that thinks it’s summer.  Right?  Right.  Right this way… Continue reading

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