31 in 31 – Icetastrophe

31 in 31 logo

Oct 6 icetastrophe“Hey, see that? Is that a shooting star?”

Story: Comet? That thing? That’s nothing. BOOM. Cue explosive ice explosions! Because sure.

Scares: Absolutely zero. TV disaster movie mixed with more than a touch of sapfest.

Splat factor: See above. Unless you count below SyFy level CGI (frozen folks shatter into red ice cubes! Obvious cartoony blood that erupts sorta near redshirts!) – oh wait. This IS a SyFy joint. This ain’t no Sharknado.

Closing scene “shocker”?: only that I wasted almost an hour and a half of my life on this. NOOOOO! Continue reading

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Horror movie “Easter Sunday” because we’re running out of horror holidays

easter-sunday-posterFriday the 13th.  My Bloody Valentine.  April Fool’s Day. Halloween. Thankskilling. Black Christmas. New Year’s Evil. Heck even the 4th of July has Uncle Sam. Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the holiday calendar, Easter Sunday is coming to make sure you don’t hippity hop anytime soon.

Okay, this looks like low budget cheesy goodness.  You’ve gotta love a film whose tagline – “This year everyone will be executed EGGSECUTED!” – is such a hoot.  And it has Robert Z’Dar as Sheriff Arkin, the guy who’s gunnin’ for bunny.  If he seems familiar, you’re right; he was undead officer Matt Cordell in the Manic Cop series.  Z’Dar passed away this year, and Easter Sunday will be dedicated to him.

Read on for the full press release, and check out the trailer below!

Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Goosebumps!

Goosebumps onesheetAlrighty 90s children.  Let’s get this retro party started, shall we?  Because today brings passes for the Baltimore area screening of Goosebumps!  Yeah, didn’t we all read those suckers back in the day?  Yes, I’m an 80s child, thanks for noticing. But I still dug the ‘bumps.  Because scary.  Synopsis!

Scholastic has over 400 million Goosebumps books worldwide in 32 languages in print since the series introduction in 1992, earning critical acclaim and dominating global best seller lists. R.L. Stine has been recognized as one of the bestselling children’s authors in history.  Now, the literary phenomenon is coming to the big screen.

In Goosebumps, teenager Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette), upset about moving from a big city to a small town, finds a silver lining when he meets the beautiful girl, Hannah (Odeya Rush), living right next door, and makes a quick friend in Champ (Ryan Lee).  But every silver lining has a cloud, and Zach’s comes when he learns that Hannah’s mysterious dad is in fact R.L. Stine (Jack Black), the author of the bestselling Goosebumps series.  As Zach starts learning about the strange family next door, he soon discovers that Stine holds a dangerous secret: the creatures that his stories made famous are real, and Stine protects his readers by keeping them locked up in their books.  When Stine’s creations are unintentionally released from their manuscripts, Zach’s life takes a turn for the weird.  In a crazy night of adventure, it’s up to Zach, Hannah, Champ, and Stine to team up and get all of these figments of Stine’s imagination – including Slappy the Dummy, the girl with the haunted mask, the gnomes and many more – back in the books where they belong to save the town.

Ready to see your favorite R.L. Stine spookies on the big screen?  Right this way… Continue reading

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31 in 31- The Club

31 in 31 logoSynched with the 31 Day Horror Movie Challenge

club_video_poster“Sometimes I just wish it was over.”

Story: kids go to prom at a “creepy” castle/building/prom/set. The clock strikes midnight…and you’ll need to drop acid to figure out this convoluted mess after that.

Scares: None. They try…but they fail.

Splat factor: This film is too low budget for serious splatter. Everything looks straight out of Party City.

Closing scene “shocker”?: I think there’s supposed to be some clever twist, but I’d lost interest.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though this story feels cobbled together from Prom Night, Night of the Demons, and several other “then there were none” spookfests. Oh yeah, throw in the POV zoom from Evil Dead while you’re at it.  They’ve stolen everything, and instead of giving it their own spin, it feels…like you’d rather be watching those other films.

Trick or Treat?: This is the perfect movie for people who are scared of horror films. It’s too boring to scare anyone. Continue reading

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31 in 31- The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

31 in 31 logo
Woman In Black 2 poster1“Don’t look! You mustn’t look.”

Story: WWII London. Bomb strikes = taking refugee children to the country.  What could possibly get them up there?  Cue ghost woman!

Scares: A few, of course jump-out or pop-up variety. Boo!

Splat factor: hardly any, unless you count the WWII hospital scenes.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Yes. AKA “it never ends”. Yeah yeah. We know. Yawn. Oh yeah; for those of you that didn’t figure out that gobsmacker?  SPOILER ALERT. Continue reading

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31 in 31 – The Monster Squad

31 in 31 logo
Synched with the 31 Day Horror Movie Challenge

Oct 9 the monster squad“Scary German guy is bitchin’!”

Story: Dracula needs an amulet to open up hell on earth. But a group of pint-sized horror nerds are ready for him. Even though Drac has Frankenstein, Wolf Man, Mummy, and Creature from the Black Lagoon on his side. Gear up, kids!

Scares: Not really, unless you’ve got a very low tolerance. Or you’re 5. This is pure monster fun, don’t expect to be frightened. Just enjoy.

Splat factor: None. This is monster madness in the 30s Universal mold. Yeah, there’s a definite 80s feel, but the splat is nonexistent. Continue reading

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Kickstarting: “Zack the Zombie Exterminator” looks splatastic!

Zack The Zombie Exterminator - just in time for Halloween (PRNewsFoto/Coffin Comics)

(PRNewsFoto/Coffin Comics)

Zack the Zombie Hunter looks like a cool mashup of Ash in Evil Dead, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and Dead Alive.  It’s up on Kickstarter now, and even though it’s only been active since September 30th (that’s three days, y’all), it’s already more than halfway to its goal. C’mon hillbilly horror!

The fact that Brian Pulido is co-writing this story gets me amped.  I love his work on Lady Death and Evil Ernie, so I’m hoping Zack will be just as groovy.  “It’s like Wayne’s World meets Dawn of the Dead,” says Pulido, and the covers echo that idea.  Schwing!

Sadly, the campaign ends at the end of the month, meaning this comic won’t hit ’til December.  (Probably due to publishing/printing timeframes.)  But what better time to get this info out to folks than Halloween Month?

For more information, read on for the official press release after the jump, and check out For more information: www.LadyDeathUniverse.com!

Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: 99 Homes!

99 homes onesheetBleah.  It’s rainy, chilly and generally dreary out.  So why not take a break from watching kitten videos to grab some free screening passes?  Don’t worry, they’ll still be there.

Today, it’s 99 Homes.  It’s one of those films I’m sure will get me riled up, because it’s about the housing market, and how so many folks got booted when everything went bust.  Synopsis!

In this timely thriller, charismatic and ruthless businessman, Rick Carver (Academy nominee Michael Shannon), is making a killing by repossessing homes – gaming the real estate market, Wall Street banks and the US government. When he evicts Dennis Nash (Golden Globe nominee Andrew Garfield), a single father trying to care for his mother (Academy Award nominee Laura Dern) and young son (newcomer Noah Lomax), Nash becomes so desperate to provide for his family that he goes to work for Carver – the very man who evicted him in the first place. Carver promises Nash a way to regain his home and earn security for his family, but slyly seduces him into a lifestyle of wealth and glamour.  It is a deal-with-the-devil that comes with an increasingly high cost – on Carver’s orders, Nash must evict families from their homes. As Nash falls deeper into Carver’s web, he finds his situation grows more brutal and dangerous than he ever imagined.

Shannon is already getting rave reviews for his performance as the shifty Gordon Gecko-y businessman.  So though I’ll be boo-hissing at his character the whole time, I’m still stoked to see it.  You too?  Well, right this way… Continue reading

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31 in 31 — Knights of Badassdom

31 in 31 logo
oct 2 knights of badassdom“My mom made me this mace.”

Story: a group of LARPers get to fight a real demon after mage in the group reads a spell from an old book he picked up on eBay. What’s that company’s policy on hellspawn?

Scares: a few fun man-in-suit bits, and plenty – PLENTY – of grue. Otherwise, it’s more blast than boo.

Splat factor: see above. Guts spill, heads pop off, hearts get ripped out. Y’know, the usual succubus Friday night. Continue reading

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Movie Review: The Martian

the martian

Nutshell: Out of this world. Grade: A

“It’s been seven days since I ran out of ketchup.”

Botanist Mark Watney is on a mission to Mars.  In fact, he’s on Mars, with a whole team of researchers an all-around smart people.  Cool, right?  But when a massive dust storm sends debris flying, sending him far away from the rest of his crew, they assume he’s died in the storm and head back to their ship. Meanwhile, back on Mars…

The Martian‘s “all alone on a distant planet” story feels like a mix of Gravity and Cast Away, but it manages to stand on its own.  The mix of humor, horror, success and fear is skillfully handled by director Ridley Scott, and a cast that balances the gravity of the situation (badum-ching) with a gallows humor and whip-smart attitude that makes the premise believable. Continue reading

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