What is even happening, you guys. What are we going to do, as a nation, when Hugh Jackman ages out of this role, I ask you.
“I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.”
Story: Entitled yuppie scum are bad. Sociopathic yuppie scum are worse. Just ask perfectionist 27 year old psycho, Patrick Bateman. Just don’t visit his place to do it; you may not make it out alive.
Scares: A few, because you never know what Patrick will do next.
Splat factor: Ditto. See: chainsaw.
Closing scene “shocker”?: Not really. But like the book, there’s a sense of ambiguity.
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: From the 1991 novel by Bret Easton Ellis. Continue reading
Via Nerdist, we’ve got a sneak peek at the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie coming out next year (ugh), as well as the new poster. Look at baby Groot! Look at how 21 Jump Street they styled this thing! Look at Gamora’s boots – why are they still making the females in this thing wear heels? Because that’s ridiculous!
“You wanna do good in this world? You gotta get your hands dirty.”
Story: A nurse got kissed by some possessed dude. Gotta hate when that happens. Meanwhile, her fiance notices things aren’t quite right with his lady. The trail of blood in her wake should be a hint and a half. Call the priest!
Scares: None. This film is just disappointment mixed with holy water and regret.
Splat factor: A bit. Think low-budget blood FX; minimal gore to keep FX costs down.
Closing scene “shocker”?: A stupid, pointless post-end credits scene.
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Yet another possession film. But it’s based on nothing. Continue reading
Image via wikicommons. Look at this fox. What other country has Howard Stark on their money?
I know. I knooooooooow. Done to death. Just so over it. Got it. I totally understand! When I turn on my car and my phone’s plugged in, this song automatically comes on. EVERY SINGLE TIME. FOR LITERALLY A YEAR NOW. It’s infuriating. But! First of all: I have crushed on this man since they came out with the new ten dollar bill (2006, apparently). I got Ron Chernow’s book for Christmas back in like 2004 and gave up somewhere around the Congressional Convention. (Like I have tried to get through this tome so many times.) Honestly, I’ve been obsessed with Alexander Hamilton since the milk commercial aired back in 1993 (I still can’t say “Aaron Burr” without making it sound like my mouth is full of peanut butter, and all my dreams have been crushed). Mostly this is because I erroneously believed he was mixed (not sure where I read that, but it’s weird/cool how slander from the 18th century can find its way to a random kid in the 20th) and was all about mixed people back then (I am mixed, and the only person I knew or saw like me back then, other than my little brother, was a little girl from this very random German movie). Continue reading
“We all have secrets.”
Story: The Breakfast Club are trapped in school after a chemical plant explosion causes a zombie mutation. I’m sure the kids that snuck back inside after the explosion are perfectly fine.
Scares: Mostly jump scares, as you’d expect from a zombie story. But a healthy dash of suspense throughout.
Splat factor: Surprisingly little. But gory when it needs to be. Lots of intense infection FX.
Closing scene “shocker”?: Things are set up for a possible Season 2. Continue reading
“And here comes the tide.”
Story: Med student Nancy heads to a beach her mother surfed as a way to memorialize mom. Unfortunately, Nancy finds a shark in the water…and no way to shore. Trapped on a low tide reef, Nancy – and a seagull who got caught in the mix – try to figure out how to survive.
Scares: Plenty of “Oh God what’s gonna happen next” chills.
Splat factor: Shark. Blood.
Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope.
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: An original take on the Shark In Water genre. Continue reading
It’s that time of year, y’all! Time to get all Marvel up in here! I’ve got passes for the Baltimore area screening of Doctor Strange, and if the 15 minute preview is any indication, it’ll be a very cool ride. Synopsis!
From Marvel Studios comes “Doctor Strange,” the story of world-famous neurosurgeon Dr. Stephen Strange whose life changes forever after a horrific car accident robs him of the use of his hands. When traditional medicine fails him, he is forced to look for healing, and hope, in an unlikely place—a mysterious enclave known as Kamar-Taj. He quickly learns that this is not just a center for healing but also the front line of a battle against unseen dark forces bent on destroying our reality. Before long Strange—armed with newly acquired magical powers—is forced to choose whether to return to his life of fortune and status or leave it all behind to defend the world as the most powerful sorcerer in existence. Join Strange on his dangerous, mystifying, and totally mind-bending journey when Marvel Studios’ “Doctor Strange” opens in U.S. theaters on November 4, 2016.
Ready? Let’s go…
“Mommy? How does he get in the house?”
Story: 8 holiday-themed tales of terror. From Valentine’s Day to NYE, a whole lotta people are gonna get offed. Pass the popcorn!
Scares: Some effective ones, some not so effective. All depends on which story.
Splat factor: See above.
Closing scene “shocker”?: Nup. Each vignette gets wrapped up pretty well. Or well-ish. Continue reading
Gear up y’all – it’s the Awards Season Onslaught! I’ve got passes for the Baltimore screening of American Pastoral. And before you start to think “oh, what a comforting, welcoming title…sounds lovely”? It’s a bit more complicated than that. Synopsis!
Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning Phillip Roth novel, AMERICAN PASTORAL follows an all American family across several decades, as their idyllic existence is shattered by social and political turmoil that will change the fabric of American culture forever. Ewan McGregor (Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, Beginners) makes his directorial debut and stars as Seymour “Swede” Levov, a once legendary high school athlete who is now a successful businessman married to Dawn, a former beauty queen. But turmoil brews beneath the polished veneer of Swede’s life. When his beloved daughter, Merry, disappears after being accused of committing a violent act, Swede dedicates himself to finding her and reuniting his family. What he discovers shakes him to the core, forcing him to look beneath the surface and confront the chaos that is shaping the modern world around him: no American family will ever be the same. AMERICAN PASTORAL also stars Academy Award® winner Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind) as Dawn, Dakota Fanning (The Runaways, The Twilight Saga) as Merry, Emmy® winner Uzo Aduba (Orange Is the New Black), and Academy Award® nominee David Strathairn (Lincoln, Good Night, and Good Luck).
A killer cast, a story based on an award winning book, and holy blip – is that Ewan McGregor directing this joint? Yeah, you wanna take a peek. Well then…
Got a dollar to spare? A quarter?
Atomic Fangirl 