Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – Ouija: Origins of Evil!

ouija origins of evil posterSpoooooky!  And even Spoooopy!  Welcome to Fall y’all!  And you know it’s my favorite time of year.  Getting ready for my usual 31 in 31, dragging out the fake cobwebs, clearing out the real cobwebs…what a lovely time.  And to make it lovelier?  Free passes!

Ouija was a bit of seasonal genre fun, and had great FX. But it suffered from the usual “why are we dying, exactly?” plot devices.  But with Ouija: Origins of Evil, there’s more devilry afoot, which means a creepy mythology is just a Yes/No away… Synopsis!

It was never just a game.  Inviting audiences again into the lore of the spirit board, Ouija: Origin of Evil tells a terrifying new tale as the follow-up to 2014’s sleeper hit that opened at number one.  In 1965 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her two daughters add a new stunt to bolster their séance scam business and unwittingly invite authentic evil into their home.  When the youngest daughter is overtaken by the merciless spirit, this small family confronts unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.

Séances!  Possession! Free passes!

Continue reading

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“Magnificent Seven” – not truly Magnificent, but definitely not Meh

magnificent seven 2016 onesheetNutshell: With Seven Samurai and Sturges’ The Magnificent Seven as it’s pedigree, Mag7 had its work cut out for it.  And there’s a whole lot of action packed fun to be had. But even with excellent performances all around, this film doesn’t seem to know how to get close to the quality and characterizations that made the first two films such classics.  Saddle up for fun, but leave your expectations of more at home. Grade: B

“Money for blood’s a peculiar business.”

Story: Very Bad Man wants to take land rich with gold from the settlers that live on it…by any means necessary.  One woman decides to fight for her town, and hires 7 stone-cold killers to help.  I’m sure mediation will be the rule of the day. Continue reading

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“Queen of Katwe” – a beautiful true story given the beautiful Disney treatment

queen-of-katwe-posterNutshell: Not only is this a lovely feel-good movie that based on a lovely feel-good story that really happened, Queen of Katwe takes viewers by the hand and shows them a whole new real world.  Director Mira Nair, along with actors Lupita Nyong’o, David Lyelowo and newcomer Madina Nalwanga, breathe life into this tale, bringing to light an area of the world many know very little about. That’s just as impressive as Phiona’s Grand Master accomplishment.  Grade: A

“In chess, the little one can become the big one.”

Story: A young girl who sells corn on the streets of Uganda finds a love of chess thanks to a kind hearted teacher.  As her skill grows, she moves up the ranks, and dreams of being a Master chess player, so she can help her family. Continue reading

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TrailerWatch: “Bad Santa 2” Red Band Trailer has been very, very naughty

bad-santaHo ho NO!  Right out of the gate let’s get this straight: this is definitely NSFW.  But damn it’s hilarious to see Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates, and Christina Hendricks get down and dirt.  (Sometimes really, really dirty…)  Synopsis!

BAD SANTA 2 returns Academy Award®-winner BILLY BOB THORNTON to the screen as America’s favorite anti-hero, Willie Soke. Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie teams up once again with his angry little sidekick, Marcus (TONY COX), to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve. Along for the ride is ‘the kid’ – chubby and cheery Thurman Merman (BRETT KELLY), a 250-pound ray of sunshine who brings out Willie’s sliver of humanity.

Mommy issues arise when the pair are joined by Academy Award®, Golden Globe and Emmy-winner KATHY BATES, as Willie’s horror story of a mother, Sunny Soke. A super butch super bitch, Sunny raises the bar for the gang’s ambitions, while somehow lowering the standards of criminal behavior. Willie is further burdened by lusting after the curvaceous and prim Diane, played by Emmy Award-nominee CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, the charity director with a heart of gold and libido of steel.

You better watch out: BAD SANTA 2 is coming to town.

Ready to get with the Naugty List? Bad Santa 2 slips you some…coal… November 23rd, 2016.

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Blu-ray Giveaway: “Welcome to Monster High”!

image002Y’all know I’m crazy for ponies.  But I dig animation in general, don’cha know. So when I was asked if I wanted to give away Blu-ray copies of Welcome to Monster High?  I didn’t hesitate. Of course I do! Especially since the release date for these babies is September 27th; just before October, otherwise known a The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

New to this story, but think it might be up your cauldron? Synopsis!

Monsters once lived in hiding—even from each other—because they were afraid they would be in danger if humans knew they existed. But Draculaura, the daughter of Dracula, along with her best ghoulfriends, dreamt of a school where everyone was welcome and accepted for who they are. Determined to make their dream come true, the ghouls travel the world on an epic adventure to recruit new students. But even in this amazing place, there’s drama: a villainess zombie is spreading trouble rather than friendship, and every student must live with the fear that their secret will be revealed. Now the ghouls must save their school so that every monster has a place where they belong and their uniqueness is celebrated!

Sounds absolutely GHOUL-lightful, right? Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “The Girl on the Train”

the-girl-on-the-train-posterBestselling novel, amazing cast (Emily Blunt, Rebecca Ferguson, Luke Evans), and an award winning director. (Of course The Help was fantastic.  But Tate Taylor’s Pretty Ugly People is also one to watch.)  The Girl on the Train looks like it’s got all its ducks in a row.  Do you want to be in a row (or aisle) seat for this screening?  Rhetorical question; of course you do!  But first?  Synopsis!

Emily Blunt, Rebecca Ferguson, Haley Bennett, Justin Theroux, Luke Evans, Allison Janney, Edgar Ramirez, Lisa Kudrow and Laura Prepon star in DreamWorks Pictures’ The Girl on the Train, from director Tate Taylor (The Help, Get on Up) and producer Marc Platt (Bridge of Spies, Into the Woods).

In the thriller, Rachel (Blunt), who is devastated by her recent divorce, spends her daily commute fantasizing about the seemingly perfect couple who live in a house that her train passes every day, until one morning she sees something shocking happen there and becomes entangled in the mystery that unfolds.

Based on Paula Hawkins’ bestselling novel, The Girl on the Train is adapted for the screen by Erin Cressida Wilson and Taylor.

So, ready to take a ride?  Right this way…

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “The Magnificent Seven” (2016)

magnificent seven 2016 onesheetYEEHAW y’all!  Time to saddle up and head out West.  Y’know, figuratively.  Because I have passes for the Baltimore area screening of The Magnificent Seven!  Director Antoine Fuqua makes incredibly watchable films – The Equalizer, Southpaw, and of course, Training Day – so the double-tap of Fuqua and this story’s pedigree?  BOOM.  Synopsis!

Director Antoine Fuqua brings his modern vision to a classic story in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures’ and Columbia Pictures’ The Magnificent Seven.  With the town of Rose Creek under the deadly control of industrialist Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard), the desperate townspeople employ protection from seven outlaws, bounty hunters, gamblers and hired guns – Sam Chisolm (Denzel Washington), Josh Farraday (Chris Pratt), Goodnight Robicheaux (Ethan Hawke), Jack Horne (Vincent D’Onofrio), Billy Rocks (Byung-Hun Lee), Vasquez (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), and Red Harvest (Martin Sensmeier).  As they prepare the town for the violent showdown that they know is coming, these seven mercenaries find themselves fighting for more than money.

Giddy-up!  Continue reading

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7 Pieces of: “Bridget Jones’s Baby”

bridget joness baby onesheet The MOVIE, people. Not a real baby.

Nutshell: If you love Bridget, you’ll love this newest chapter in her life.  Bridget Jones’s Baby brings the characters into their next decade gracefully, while keeping that off-kilter situational humor that made the first two films so much fun. Goofy rom-coms may not be everybody’s cup of tea (pity), but for those that love a quirky love story? Dive in. Grade: A

“How in the hell did I end up here again.”

Story: Girl meets reindeer-jumper-clad boy.  Girl gets boy. Girl breaks up with boy.  Girl meets another boy…and then re-connects with original boy.  Girl gets pregnant. Who’s the boy?

Genre I’d put it in: Girls Night Out

Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Part 3 of the Bridget Jones series, based on the series of books by Helen Fielding (but thankfully not based on the third novel, Crazy about the Boy.)  Probably the last of this series, but who’s to say?

Gotta say: Okay my ladies, and my gays.  Let’s just realize it’s probably just us for this review, right?  And honestly, if you’re reading this far in, you’ve already decided to see this film, probably already bought your tickets.  You’re just trying to decide exactly how excited you should be.

Very.

Zellweger is just as bubbly and wonderful as Bridget as she was at the start of the series.  She’s thinner in this film – putting weight on and off is a pain, and for this dip into the pool it’s wholly unnecessary – but still every inch the lovable misfit.  Firth as THE Mark Darcy is still wonderful, with that wistful yearning for Bridget still intact.  Helen Fielding, Dan Mazer (Da Ali G Show) and Emma Thompson (Wit) all did screenwriting duty, and their blend of styles mesh perfectly.  Bridget Jones’s Baby manages to delight, get cheeky, and go a bit blue…sometimes all in the same scene.  Bringing back Bridget Jones’s Diary director Sharon Maguire helps Baby feel like a natural extension of the original story.

What really surprised me was how well Patrick Dempsey fit into this world.  Yes, he is McDreamy, so he’s got the whole romantic lead thing down.  But with this story’s ensemble cast of romance, he manages to stand out without taking over the joint. (Like anyone could ever top Firth.  The only possible contest could be Firth and Elba.  Man, I’d watch the hell outta that film.)

It’s also lovely to see the old gang together again; Sally Phillips as Shazzer, Shirley Henderson as Jude, and Julian Rhind-Tutt as Fergus.  Bridget’s friends have grown up (kinda), and they’ve all carved out a particular part of adult life for themselves.  Yet they’re all still a team.  And that’s wonderful to see.  So are Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones, reprising their roles as Bridget’s parents.

The “how’d this happen” part of the film is just crazy enough to be believable; from Bridget’s decision to head to a weekend-long music fest (mud, yurts and all) to running into Darcy out of the blue (talk about a re-Meet Cute), it’s all so much romantic fun.  And let’s not forget Emma Thompson as the OB-GYN who thought she’d seen it all.  Brittish reserve and cheeky sarcasm?  Check, and check.

So go on and buy that popcorn, and grab some licorice while you’re at it.  It’s gonna be a party.  You might as well have refreshments on hand.

#Protip: Of course Colin Firth played Mr. Darcy in 1995’s Pride and Prejudice, so he was a lock for this film’s Mr. Darcy.  But Firth is fine being Darcy’s “conduit on earth”.  Thank goodness!

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “Storks”!

storks-onesheetThere have been a few animated movies coming our way lately.  So why not take in one more?  Animation is fun.  Today I’ve got screening passes for the newest bouncing baby animated film…Storks!  And yeah, it’s about just what you think it’s about.  Synopsis!

Storks deliver babies…or at least they used to. Now they deliver packages for a global internet retail giant.  Junior (Andy Samberg), the company’s top delivery stork, is about to be promoted when he accidentally activates the Baby Making Machine, producing an adorable, and wholly unauthorized, baby girl. Desperate to deliver this bundle of trouble before the boss gets wise, Junior and his friend Tulip, the only human on Stork Mountain, race to make their first-ever baby drop – in a wild and revealing journey that could make more than one family whole and restore the storks’ true mission in the world.

Ready for passes?  Right this way… Continue reading

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Con News: Small Press Expo Library Gift Program of 2016 goes to Richmond!

SPX 2016 banner 2I love Richmond.  I love comics.  And Small Press Expo has bundled ’em up into a happy little nice time.  Small Press Expo has always had charity in mind, but their Graphic Novel Gift Program is larger in scope, and it’s awesome.  To quote from their distro:

This program, the first of its kind in the United States, is an outright gift of graphic novels to the library as selected by the library’s collections specialists, who selected 65 titles comprising 298 individual books.

They’ve been doing this since 2011, which is pretty cool. Read on for the full details.  And congratulations to Richmond Public Libraries!

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