Tag Archives: Bad Horror Movies

“The Cure for Wellness” is a whole lot of bad crazy. With eels.

Nutshell: Bojan Bazelli’s beautiful cinematography and Eve Stewart’s picture-perfect production design are wasted in this derivative horror mishmosh.  Speaking of criminal wastes of talent, Celia Imrie, Dane DeHaaan and Jason Isaacs turn in wonderful performances that this film just doesn’t … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: Camp Death

“Realism? Fuck realism!” Story: A film crew tries to make a slasher film, but didn’t expect a real killer to crash the joint. Ooh – so scary! Scares: Zero. Lame concept, lame acting, lame blocking. Angles that leave the action … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: The Secrets of Emily Blair

“You wanna do good in this world? You gotta get your hands dirty.” Story: A nurse got kissed by some possessed dude.  Gotta hate when that happens.  Meanwhile, her fiance notices things aren’t quite right with his lady.  The trail … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: Wishmaster 2

“All right. I understand. You’ve had a tough day. I can see how this could get a little depressing in here…” Story: Hey, robbing an art museum sounds like a great idea! Unless you inadvertently release an evil Djinn that … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: Re-Kill

“Re-Kill ’em all!” Story: 5 years after a zombie outbreak that decimated the world was finally under control. Watching armed forces – Re-Kill division – protect, serve, and blow away zombies is now reality TV for the safely fenced in … Continue reading

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31 in 31- Knock ’em Dead

“I’m sorry.  I only like four-legged bitches.” Story: 2003 saw a blockbuster horror movie. Ten years later, the three leads put aside their mutual hatred for a sequel on the same island where they filmed the first one. But before … Continue reading

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#31in31 – V/H/S: Viral (and my first ever negative film rating)

“WHAT THE FUCK???” Okay, this movie is such unmitigated garbage that I don’t want to spend any more time writing it up to fit the template. Let’s just do this: This pathetic anthology “film” has bad acting, horrible direction, and … Continue reading

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31 in 31 – Icetastrophe

“Hey, see that? Is that a shooting star?” Story: Comet? That thing? That’s nothing. BOOM. Cue explosive ice explosions! Because sure. Scares: Absolutely zero. TV disaster movie mixed with more than a touch of sapfest. Splat factor: See above. Unless … Continue reading

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31 in 31- The Club

Synched with the 31 Day Horror Movie Challenge “Sometimes I just wish it was over.” Story: kids go to prom at a “creepy” castle/building/prom/set. The clock strikes midnight…and you’ll need to drop acid to figure out this convoluted mess after … Continue reading

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31 in 31: Cabin Fever – Patient Zero

Story: Some guy is getting married to some rich chick. Why not have a bachelor party boat trip? And why not dock on an island not on the map, where a secret biohazard research team is working on the cure … Continue reading

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